Never Let Go
by cherrykitkats
Summary: ***DISCONTINUED*** MOVIEVERSE. For ten years he's been gone. When he returns, things only get worse. Will his brothers be able to save him from whatever is haunting him? Or are they all doomed? Whatever happens, their lives will be changed forever...
1. Prologue

**Summary:** After a fight, a family member disappeared. His brothers searched for him, but after a couple of years, they began to lose hope. Nine years after the disappearance, Splinter died. The three remaining turtles swore to their father that they would find their lost brother, no matter what it may take. But after another year with no sign of him, the three brothers began to lost hope once again, and eventually stopped searching altogether, believing their long-lost sibling to be dead. Even April and Casey, who stuck by them through thick and thin, gave up. The three turtles felt so guilty for saying and doing what they had on that night ten years ago. They went on, regretting everything they had done and protecting each other more fiercely than ever before. They never hid their emotions from each other and they never stopped thinking about their lost brother. Everything seemed hopeless...that is, until the unimaginable happened...

Raphael returned, broken and changed nearly beyond recognition. With one mystery solved, more and more began to appear. What was the red-clad turtle hiding from Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo? What happened during the ten years he was gone? His spirit was crushed and his flame extinguished. He came back with many new scars. Who had done this? They would soon find out, and when they did, their lives would be changed forever.

**Author's Note:** I'm terribly sorry for the wait. I haven't had much time to write lately and I'm also still trying to figure out everything on Advice would be much appreciated!! -smirks- By the way, if ya don't like torture, gore, drama, and all that good stuff, I suggest you go read someone else's fanfiction. :) Also, if ya don't like Raph being in the middle of everything...then APPARENTLY you've got the wrong person. Anyways...onto the story. XD

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"Guys, don't you think we should at least check on him?" Michelangelo looked pleadingly at his two brothers.

"It was his fault, Mikey, just leave it!" Leonardo snapped, looking up from his book.

"I really wouldn't care what happened to him right now," Donatello added, glaring towards the door to their remaining brother's room.

"Don't say that!" Mikey snarled, turning on his purple-masked brother. "You care about him as much as I do! Besides, _I_ believe he had a reason for doing all of those things!"

Leo and Don exchanged a startled glance. Their youngest brother wasn't known for losing his temper.

"Besides, you weren't very nice to him, Leo!" Mikey whirled around to face his eldest brother. "Am I the only one who cares about our brother anymore?" He looked from Leo to Don, but both were too shocked to speak. "I don't know about you guys, but _I_ forgive him, and _I'm_ on _his_ side!"

Mikey glared furiously at his brothers before stalking off to Raphael's room. He knocked softly on the door, ignoring the footsteps he heard behind him and the door of his sensei's room opening. When he tried to open the door, he found it was locked. Don and Leo came up behind him, glancing nervously at Splinter, who had come out of his room to see what all the noise was about.

"My sons, what is going on?" The mutant rat demanded, his tail twitching back and forth.

"I wanted to see how Raph was doing," Mikey growled before his brothers could reply. "But apparently _I'm_ the only one who even _cares_!"

"Michelangelo, calm down this instant!" Splinter scolded. Mikey looked away.

"Sorry, sensei," he muttered.

"You are not the only one who cares about Raphael," Splinter continued, casting a glance at Don and Leo. "I, too, believe we should forgive him."

Leo and Don bowed their heads, beginning to feel guilty over the whole thing. Mikey knocked on the door again.

"Come on, Raph, open up!" He said, but got no response. "Raph?" He looked back at the rest of his family.

"Is he even in there?" Leo wondered aloud.

"There's only one way to find out," Mikey decided, stepping back a little ways. "Hiya!"

He flew at the door, knocking it down with a strong kick. His brothers and Sensei ducked to avoid the fragments of the door that were flung towards them.

"Nice one," Don muttered, glaring at Mikey, who just smiled sheepishly.

Mikey flipped the light on, but he saw no turtle. There was only a note, lying on Raph's bed. He glanced worriedly back at the three mutants behind him, who still had not seen what was inside the room and became nervous at his expression. Mikey walked over and picked up the note. The others followed him, looking even more uneasy as they took in the empty room. Mikey looked at the note. It was a piece of paper folded in half. In the front it said:

"_My Last Note_," Mikey read out loud, glancing back at Leo, Don, and Splinter before unfolding the piece of paper.

"_You guys are probably wondering where I am right now. Well, that's not important. What is important is that I apologize._"

"_Sensei, I'm sorry I couldn't be the son and student you wanted me to be. I was always a pain and I didn't listen to you as much as I should have._" Splinter bowed his head, knowing exactly where this would go. Mikey took a deep breath before continuing. "_Leo, all of those arguments were my fault. I don't know why I started them, but I should have been more respectful towards you and more importantly I should have followed you._" Leo winced slightly at the words as if someone had struck at him. "_Don, I'm sorry for ruining all of those inventions. I should have respected you a lot more, too._" Don stared at the note in Mikey's hands, speechless. Mikey gulped, knowing his name would be next. "_And Mikey, even though you probably deserved all of the things I've done to you, I'm still sorry...and I'm especially sorry for...'that night'. I don't know what came over me, but it just goes to show that I'm too dangerous for anyone to be around._" Mikey paused, trying to calm himself down before he went on. "_I was always the one who messed things up. I was such a hot-head and I hurt all of you. I swear I'll never do anything like that again, even if it means never seeing you again. I'm sorry..._" Mikey stopped suddenly, scanning over the last sentence a couple of times. He looked back at his brothers and sensei, his eyes glistening with tears, and read the rest.

"_...I won't be coming home..._"

**

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Author's Note:** I had to leave before I got the chance to put this part up, so I'll just put in it now!! Thanks so much for the reviews, guys. I never thought this plot would be that popular!! -happy squeal- THAT'S SO COOL!! My first reviews!! YAAAAAAAAY!! XD 

**Warriors Hamsters:** Thanks!! And don't worry, you'll find out what happened soon enough. Heh heh heh...-mischievous smile- As for what happened before all this...well, let's just say I probably won't mention that for a while. If ya REALLY wanna know, I already have it typed and I can send it to ya.

**Alora05:** Wow...thank you so much!! Geez, I never expected a review like that!! I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYYY!!!! -cries joyfully- XD Well, I do hope you like what happens next. I have so many different versions of this!! Aaaaaand...I don't like any of them. -.- I think I'm gonna try something different this time. And one last thing...FINALLY!! Another big Raph fan!! RAPH RULES!! MUAHAHAHAHA :3


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Next chapter!! WOOHOO!! -cheers- Thanks for all the reviews, guys. This next chapter will start out with Don. Go Donnie!! XD Well, here goes everything!!

**mangalover248:** Thanks. Raph rules!! XD (You'll probably hear me say that a lot...just a warning. X3)

**Sewer Slider:** Thanks for the advice. I need someone to keep me in line. -gives thumbs up- I've already fixed up the summary, too. Whee!! X3

**Calypphire:** lol Ya wanted an update, and you're gonna get one!! To tell ya the truth, I'm just about as excited as you are. I can't wait for all of ya to see all the drama and angst in the middle and end...and beginning of the story!! XD BUT mostly the middle and end!! I hope I don't get TOO dramatic, though...-smiles sheepishly- Yeeeaaaaah...knowing me I'll probably go overboard...as usual. -tries to look innocent-

**EvilHamsterMastermind:** Thank you.

_

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Blip_..._blip_..._blip_..._blip_... 

Don listened quietly to the soft sounds of water dripping from the pipes. It was so quiet, and it had been for nearly ten years. Sometimes he thought the lair was empty, only to be proved wrong when he heard quiet shuffling in another room. It was like a ghost town.

He sighed, rolling over to a more comfortable position on his bed. The clock told him it was almost midnight. He groaned and rolled over to his other side. For some reason, he just couldn't get to sleep tonight. Something was telling him to go topside and look, for anything and everything, yet still only one thing.

"Where are you?" He whispered to no one in particular.

Sitting up, he stifled a yawn and got to his feet, walking over to his desk. He picked up an old picture and studied it. Don had taken it when they visited the farmhouse about ten and a half years back. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face when he looked at it. Mike had been goofing around that whole day (What else is new?) and eventually Raph got a hold of him, right after Mike snuck up behind him and tugged hard at his bandanna tails. In the picture, Raph had Mike in a headlock while Leo was in the background rolling his eyes. Splinter was sitting in the chair on the porch, smiling with amusement while he watched his sons. April and Casey were both standing beside him, laughing. Don couldn't help but chuckle at the look on Mike's face-his mouth wide open in a laugh so hard that tears had dampened his bandanna at the corners of his eyes. When he looked at Raph, his smile vanished. Though his brother looked happy in the picture and was smiling, despite being annoyed at Mike, he didn't want to remember what had happened not long after that. He put the picture down and sat in his chair, his eyes glistening with tears.

"I wish you would just come home. We're lost without you..."

Don put his head in his hands, tears escaping down his cheeks. He didn't notice that he wasn't alone until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Mike beside him. His baby brother gave him a half-hearted smile, pulling him into an embrace.

"He'll come back, Donnie," Mike murmured, his voice shaky but determined. Don hugged Mike tightly, glad for his little brother's comfort.

Since Raph had gone, Mike had kept the family together, reassuring them despite his own grief and doubt. Don admired him, and he wished he could do the same for him and Leo. There was another pair of arms, wrapped around both of them. Don opened his eyes, which he hadn't even realized he'd closed. Leo had come in as well. Don had hoped his brothers had been sleeping, though he knew they must be just as restless as he was. After a time that seemed so long but still much too short, the three brothers parted. Don sighed and stood up.

"I'm going for a walk," he said quietly.

"You want us to come with you?" Leo asked almost immediately.

The three of them had become very protective of each other ever since they lost their brother, and even more so after their sensei died. Don felt his heart jolt when he thought about Splinter. He had died a little over a year ago, nine years after Raph had disappeared. They all grieved for their father, though his death only made them more determined to find Raph. After another year, though, they had eventually stopped looking. Though it hurt Don to admit it, he knew that there wasn't much of a chance of finding their long-lost brother. They all believed him to be dead. Don sighed for what seemed like the billionth time that night.

"No thanks, I'd rather go alone," he replied. "I'll call if I run into trouble."

"Promise?" Mike whispered, teary-eyed and clearly worried.

"Promise."

With that, Don turned and walked slowly out of the lair, grabbing a hooded coat, scarf, and gloves on his way out. After all, it was the middle of winter.

Snow fell silently from dark gray clouds. The freezing night air was still, except for an occasional sigh of the wind. The only light came from the streets of New York City, where headlights and street lights lit up the many building and alleyways. There was one alley, however, that the light did not shine on.

A shadowed form was moving slowly towards the back of the alley. Finally, it collapsed, the torn, blood-red bandanna tails fluttering to the ground. Quiet, rasping breaths came from the big turtle, its one eye glazed over with pain.

For months, Raphael had been traveling. It had been nearly a year since he escaped from that God forsaken place he'd been trapped in for so many years. He wanted so bad to see his family again, but he was so afraid of how they would react when he finally found the lair. Then again, finding his old home wasn't easy when he was blind.

The moon finally broke through the clouds, shining dimly on the mutant. He was covered in scars and burns, his shell chipped in a few places. An eye patch covered his left eye behind his bandanna, the edges of a scar peeking out from underneath the mask. His right eye was completely white, drained of all color. That was the eye that was blind.

He longed to tear off the eye patch so he could at least see half of the world, but even if he did, it would be hard to see anything. The scar was one he had received from his torture, and he could barely even open his eye now. It would be pointless to try.

The moonlight was cut off suddenly and the alley was plunged into darkness once more. Raph was shivering violently, having no protection against the cold. He had no idea how he'd managed to survive it without anything to cover up with. Groaning, he slowly tried to push himself up, but his arms gave way beneath him almost instantly. He gritted his teeth and pushed himself up against the wall, curling up in the dark corner.

"_Raphael..."_

Raph nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard that all-too-familiar voice.

"_I see you..."_

His eyes grew wide and he struggled to push himself up, but failed miserably when he collapsed once again. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the whispering voices to leave him alone. Finally, he got rid of them. Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, he relaxed ever so slightly. _I'm just hearing things,_ he told himself. He had been hearing the shadows whispering to him in that same, icy voice ever since he left that place. _If I could just get home, I might be safe...that is...if they still want me..._ He felt a single tears slide down his cheek, but didn't bother to wipe it away. It fell silently to the snow-covered ground and shattered. _I said I would never go back...but it's my only hope..._

Don shivered as the wind rustled his coat. He landed on the next rooftop, wishing he had grabbed some boots. But this time something was urging him to hurry and he didn't think about it until he finally reached the surface. He finally stopped on an old roof and looked out at the scenery. He remembered Raph showing him this once, saying it was his favorite roof. Now he understood why. As he looked out over the city, he saw a line of trees in the distance, beautiful even with their bare, snow-covered branches. Tears stung at the back of his eyes, slowly making their escape and running down his cheeks. He wiped them away with a gloved hand before he fell to his knees, his hands clenched into fists and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Why did you do it?" He whispered, then his voice rose to a wail. "HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE US LIKE THAT!?" His words were met with silence, and his voice lowered once again, barely a whisper. "I'm so sorry, Raph..."

He didn't know how long he sat there as the moon rose higher in the sky. A chilly wind stirred up snow at his feet, signaling an approaching storm. Don opened his eyes.

"I better get home," he murmured, straightening up. He stretched his stiff limbs and wrapped the coat tighter around himself. "Mikey and Leo are probably worried sick by now."

He jumped over to the next roof, but almost lost his balance on the other side when he saw a figure huddled in the alley he'd just jumped over. Grunting, he managed to land on his feet and hands in a crouch. He rushed over to the edge of the roof, but he couldn't see who it was in the shadows. _Probably some drunk man wandering around,_ he guessed, but decided to check it out anyways. He descended silently down to the ground, cautiously approaching the figure. Though even he couldn't hear his own footsteps, the figure apparently could. He saw it shift, what looked like the tails of a scarf stirred by the wind. _No...that's not a scarf..._ He peered closer...

"No way," he breathed, alerting whoever was crouched in the shadows. "It couldn't be..._bandanna_ tails?"

A grunt came from the figure as it lifted its head. Don saw one eye glint in the dim light that came from a nearby streetlight. It didn't even widen when it saw him, and he quickly remembered that he should be sticking to the shadows. And yet...something told him not to be afraid. _Maybe it's because he's blind or something,_ he wondered, but it didn't satisfy him. He didn't know if the figure was really who he was looking for, but he knew he had to find out.

"H-hello?" He called softly.

"Who's there?" A weak voice called out. Don recognized it instantly.

As if intentionally, the moonlight lit up the alley for a brief second, revealing the figure. Don gasped when he saw it.

"RAPH!?"

One moment he was frozen with shock the next he had grabbed his brother in a tight embrace.

"Wha-" Raph started, trying to pull away. "Who-" Just then he recognized the voice he hadn't heard in ten years. "...Don?"

"I can't believe you're back!" Don rambled. "I can't wait for you to see Mikey and Leo and April and Ca-"

"Don," Raph interrupted, wincing at how tight Don was holding him.

"Oh, sorry." Don released his grip, sweeping his gaze over his brother.

He narrowed his eyes when he saw the eye patch, which stood out much more than the scars, then blinked in surprise when he saw Raph's right eye. It was completely white.

"What...happened?" He asked softly.

"L-long s-s-story," Raph stammered, the cold making his voice shaky.

Don noticed this and quickly took off his coat, wrapping it around his brother. Raph felt the warmth and breathed a sigh of relief. _At least Don's happy to see me,_ he thought. _But what about Leo? And more importantly...what about Mikey?_

"Can you walk?" Don's voice brought Raph back to reality.

"I d-don't know," Raph admitted, but started to struggle to his feet anyways. "B-but I can t-try." Don watched closely as the red-clad turtle tried to push himself up, ready to catch him if he fell. Raph pulled himself up, using the wall for support, and took a hesitant step forward. "Oof!" He grunted as his feet slid out from under him. Luckily, Don shot forward, catching him before he hit the ground. "On s-second thought...maybe n-not."

Don gently lowered his brother down to the ground, instinctively reaching for his shell cell but hesitating before his hand touched it. _I said I'd call if I ran into trouble,_ he recalled. _But I don't know..._ He looked at Raph, knowing he wouldn't be able to walk at all, especially not all the way back to the lair. _I need help._ He grabbed his shell cell and quickly called Mike.

"Come on, pick up," he muttered as it started ringing. He shivered in the wind, but he barely even noticed the cold as he waited anxiously for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" Don sighed with relief at the familiar voice.

"Hey it's Do-"

"Donnie! Are you ok? Did something happen? What-"

"Mikey, will you just _calm down_!" Don interrupted him, beginning to get impatient. Mike stopped abruptly.

"Ok. What do you need?" He asked, though Don could tell he was still worried.

"Listen, I need you to get Leo and get over here ASAP. You'll need to grab another coat, too." Don looked down at Raph, who seemed to be listening quietly to the conversation.

"Why?" Don held his breath for a moment, wondering what his brother's reaction would be.

"Mike...I...I found Raph."

**

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Author's Note:** Behold the power of the mighty cliffhanger!! Muahahahaha!! X3 Don't ya just love cliffhangers?? But don't worry, I already have some of chapter 2 done so it shouldn't take too long to get up, seeing as I'm DEFINETLY not going anywhere this weekend and will probably be working on this fic for the most part. W00t!! -dances- I'M FINALLY FREEEEEEEEEE!!...That is, as long as my teachers don't pile on the homework. -glares- 

And we finally got to see what Raph was up to in this chapter!! Man, I'm SO mean to poor Raphie. XD I'll try to get a pic for ya, just so you can get a better idea of what he looks like. It'll probably be a request for someone else, though, seeing as I'm not too good at drawing the guys, or anyone in TMNT for that matter. -shrugs- I'll learn.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I'm SO sorry for the long wait, guys. I've just been a bit busy so...yeah...please don't hurt me!! X3 Anyways, here's chapter 2. It's about the same length as chapter 1, but I promise to make chapter 3 much better and I'll have a lot more explaining soon, too!! Also, be warned, this might get a little sappy. -smiles cheekily-

**Leonardosgirl1771:** lol Thanks. XD

**Mangalover248:** Thank you.

**Wah-Keetcha:** Thanks. I'll try to update more often.

**Alora05:** COOKIE!! XD This is just the beginning. Just wait until ya read the rest... D I have Raph from the 2007 movie, too. It's so AWESOME!!

**Extreme Blazing Worriors:** Thanks.

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Don's words were met by a stunned silence. He saw Raph flinch and drop his gaze to the ground, his uncovered eye glistening with tears.

"You...what?" Mike's voice brought Don's attention back to the shell cell. "You...are you..."

"Yes, Mike, I'm serious," Don growled. "Now get over here!"

"Alright, we'll be there as soon as we can."

Mike quickly hung up and Don put his shell cell away. His brother's voice had been almost emotionless, and the purple-clad turtle wondered if Mike really wanted Raph back. _Of course he does!_ He thought, shocked by his own doubts. _We all want him to come back._

"Don..." Don looked at Raph when he heard his brother whisper his name. Raph's voice was shaky and the emotions in it were so clear. That wasn't the Raph he knew.

"Yeah, Raph?" Don murmured, sitting down beside his brother.

"Does...does he w-w-_want_ me to c-come h-home?" Raph asked in a defeated voice, tears already running down his cheeks. Don could do nothing but stare at him for a moment, then he sighed.

"Raph, we all want you home," he said sternly, pulling his brother up into a sitting position up against the wall. "We've been so miserable ever since you left."

"I d-d-don't see w-why," Raph muttered, looking away from Don at the opposite wall.

Don was too choked to say anything else, so he just hugged Raph instead. Surprisingly, Raph didn't move away. He just sat there, his eyes closed and his whole body shaking, not just because of the cold, but because of fear. And not just fear of how his remaining two siblings would react to his reappearance, but because of something else. Don shivered and hugged Raph tighter. Much to his surprise, Raph latched onto him, as if suddenly afraid of something. He blinked when his brother buried his head into his plastron and curled up, his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around Don.

"_Your brothers can't help you..."_

Raph shut his eyes tighter, trying to block out the chilling voice.

"_They don't want you anymore..."_

No. That wasn't true. His brothers would always love him, no matter what. Raph clung to Don, maybe because he hoped the voices wouldn't bother him if he was with others, maybe because he just wanted to make sure he wasn't alone and that Don was really there, he didn't know.

A sudden blast of wind jolted Raph back to reality, the voices fading away. He jumped when the cold hit him, feeling the snow being stirred up.

"Uh oh," Don muttered. "Looks like there's gonna be a storm."

_Where are Mikey and Leo?_ Raph wondered. _Mike said they'd be here as fast as they could, so-_

"Don!"

The sound of the distant voice interrupted his thoughts. It sounded like Leo, but they were obviously still a ways away. The wind was blowing steadily now, picking up speed. _If they don't get here soon..._

"If they don't get here soon, we'll be in the middle of a white-out." Raph looked towards Don, who had just voiced his fear.

"Hmph," he grunted, trying his best to stop shivering. "W-won't make m-m-much of a d-difference for m-me."

"What?" Don looked down at Raph. _I think I guessed right about that eye..._ "Why?"

"Blind," Raph replied bluntly.

"Oh..." Don trailed off. He'd obviously not heard Leo's shout. _Of course he didn't,_ Raph thought. _I only heard it because my hearing has improved a lot since I lost my ability to see._ "I'm sorry."

"It's n-not your f-f-fault," Raph assured him.

The wind was starting to pick up speed, throwing snow up in the air. The streets were deserted. Everyone had gone home to escape the dangers of the oncoming blizzard.

"Donnie!"

Don looked up sharply when he heard Mike calling. Raph looked up too, his breath hitching when he heard how close they were.

"Don," Raph whispered.

"Yeah?" Don murmured back.

Raph didn't answer, suddenly at loss for words. He could hear faint footsteps above the wind and feel vibrations from the rooftops.

"Don!" Mike's voice called again. Don got to his feet, trying to see through the thin layer of snow that the wind had stirred up.

"Mike!" He called, glancing around nervously in case someone had stayed out despite the coming blizzard.

Raph heard the footsteps stop abruptly before starting again twice as fast. He felt cold now that Don had moved away, but he stayed put. He shook his head, trying to push away the billion, nagging thoughts running through his mind. Stifling a sneeze, he froze when he heard the footsteps right above him, followed by a soft thud not a few seconds later.

"R-raph?" Raph looked towards the voice, recognizing Leo's almost instantly. He looked away, desperately trying to hold back the horrible memories that were beginning to resurface.

"Raphie?"

This time it was Mike. Raph slowly turned his head towards his baby brother, his sightless gaze directed straight into Mike's. The orange-clad turtle winced at the emotions he could see in that one eye, and he couldn't take it anymore. He fell to his knees beside his brother and clung to him, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

"Oh, Raph, I'm so sorry!" He cried. Raph remained quiet, too choked for words. "Why did you leave? It wasn't your fault, it was mine! I knew you'd just get mad at me but I kept bugging you and...and...I can't believe I said that to you! You didn't deserve it..."

Leo put a hand on Mike's shoulder, crouching down beside him. Don looked up from his brothers when he heard the wind starting to howl, stirring up more snow.

"We gotta get back to the lair, and fast," Don ordered. Leo looked up at him and nodded before turning back to Mike.

"Come on, Mikey," Leo coaxed, gently pulling Mike away from his brother. "You can talk to Raph all you want once we get home."

Don waited impatiently as Mike sniffed, standing up with Leo. Raph clenched his teeth as he pulled himself up, barely managing to even with the support of the alley wall. Leo noticed almost immediately and turned to Don. Before he could ask, Don shook his head.

"No, he can't walk, not even with help," he stated grimly.

"C-c-can t-too." Everyone looked over at Raph. That was the first time he'd spoken since Mike and Leo had arrived. There was a faint glint of frustration and determination in his eyes, a small but encouraging spark of his old personality. "I c-can w-w-walk"

"Raph, don't be stupid," Don rebuked his brother, though his voice was gentle. He looked up worriedly at the barely visible gray clouds. "We don't have time to argue." Leo suddenly remembered something and handed him the extra coat they'd brought with them. Don slipped it on before looking at Raph. "Raph..." He began, but didn't get time to finish.

"Shh," Raph hissed, his one-eyed gaze fixed on the entrance to the alley. "Someone's coming." Leo, Don, and Mike exchanged a confused glance.

"How do you-" Leo whispered, but was cut off when Raph planted his hand firmly on his brother's mouth.

"Listen," Raph muttered, not even glancing at his brother.

Sure enough, the three turtles could hear soft, slow footsteps. It sounded like whoever it was was trying to sneak up on them. Leo glanced at his brothers before slowly walking forward, his hands on the hilts of his katanas. Mike had his nunchakus out and Don had a hand on his bo. Raph remained still as stone, listening for any change in sound. Leo stopped and looked around the corner from the shadows, the only noise being the soft crunch of snow as he walked. There was nothing there. Giving one last, suspicious glance in the direction the footsteps had come from, the blue-clad turtle turned and went back to his brothers.

"I think we're safe, but we should get back home," he reported, suppressing a shiver. Raph narrowed his eye, listening intently.

_Shing._

Raph hear the sound of metal sliding out of a sheath. It was followed by a soft _crunch_, like a footstep in the snow. His exhaustion forgotten, he leapt at Mike.

"GET DOWN!"

Mike let out a startled yelp as Raph crashed into him and sent both flying to the ground. A shuriken shot past the spot Mike's head had been in a heartbeat before. Leo and Don whipped around, their weapons out and ready. Mike recovered from the shock and jumped to his feet, simultaneously pulling out his nunchucks. Raph sat up, rubbing his head. The coat that had been on him before had fluttered to the ground, but he hardly noticed. He didn't bother getting up as he glared at the shadows that concealed the enemy.

"Show yourself!" Leo growled, narrowing his eyes. He could just barely see the outline of a man.

Suddenly, the figure sprinted off. The three turtles caught a glimpse of him, but he was out of sight before any of them could react.

Raph's sudden burst of energy vanished as quickly as it had come. He groaned, his teeth clenched as he fought against unconsciousness. Don looked at Leo.

"I'm gonna go on ahead," he told his eldest brother. "I need to get some things."

"Right," Leo agreed. "Mike, you get Raph back to the lair. I need to check on something."

Not waiting for an answer, he darted off in the direction the man had gone. Mike was about to protest, but Don was gone as well. All that was left was the sound of wind and the snow that fell from the sky. Raph didn't utter a sound, and he didn't dare to. His gaze was trained on the snow-covered ground, unwilling to look up at his brother though he wouldn't be able to see him either way. Mike sighed softly, a sound that was barely audible above the howling of the wind.

"Come on." He knelt down beside Raph. "Think you can walk?"

Raph was about to say yes, but instead just shook his head. Unnerved by his brother's reluctance to speak to him, Mike resorted to picking Raph up in his arms bridal style and set off for the nearest manhole. Raph didn't protest, his gaze directed away from his brother. It wasn't that he hated Mike, it was just that he was afraid. Afraid of rejection. He didn't want to say something wrong and hurt his youngest brother's feelings. Little did he know, the silence hurt Mike more than any amount of words could.

Soon enough, Mike managed to get Raph and himself down into the sewers. A few minutes later, they were going down winding tunnels. Raph could tell where they were going and recognized the route instantly. This was the way they usually came when they were going back to the lair. Both of the turtles were silent as they made their way back to the lair. Mike was trying not to faint from the lack of sleep he'd had that night while Raph merely tried to stay conscious. In other words, both of them were too occupied to chat at the moment.

After what seemed like an eternity but may have been only a minute, they finally reached the lair. Don had gotten there a few minutes earlier and was currently rummaging around in his room. Mike went into Raph's room, still carrying his red-clad brother, and set said turtle on the bed. The room had barely been touched for those ten years, except to be cleaned. Raph sat up in the bed, part of him angry at the other part for being such a baby and not at least attempting to walk here on his own. He didn't notice Mike leaving because of the billion clashing thoughts in his head. He did notice, however, when Don came into the room. The purple-masked ninja carefully set down the stuff he was carrying and went over to his brother. Raph could sense Mike watching from the doorway as Don muttered to himself, obviously checking his brother for any serious injuries. He relaxed ever so slightly, the presence of his family warming him. And yet, something seemed to be missing...

"Hey Don?" Raph interrupted his brother's muttering, his heart dreading the answer to his next question. "W...where's Splinter?"

Everyone froze. Leo had just come up to the doorway when he heard Raph, stopping in mid stride. Don was in the middle of putting something away, his hand hovering uncertainly over the medical tool. Mike was leaning against the door frame, his eyes wide and watery. Raph's heart skipped a beat as the silence lengthened. Don, being the first one to snap out of his trance, straightened up and looked at his red-clad brother.

"Sensei is...gone," he muttered. "He...died...about a year ago."

Raph closed his eye and nodded slowly. He figured that much. Trying desperately not to break down right then and there, he listened quietly while Don put the rest of his stuff away. Most of the stuff he hadn't even needed but he'd got them just in case. Leo had already gone to his room, suddenly not interested in going in and talking to his brothers anymore. Mike shook his head as Don walked past him, still a bit stunned. He looked curiously at Raph, wondering if his brother would react. But Raph just sat there as if he were lost in thought. Mike wanted to leave, to get away from the horrible feelings of guilt and regret seeing his long-lost brother brought. But while his mind was telling him to run, his heart was telling him to stay. His brother needed him now. He loved his brother like he loved all of his family. Why did he feel like he had to run? When he finally came back to reality, he was startled to see Raph's one-eyed gaze burning into his own. For a moment, he just stared back. He studied the emotions that showed freely in his brother's one eye.

Mike could clearly see the reflection of his own regret and guilt. There was so much sorrow there and a feeling of great loss. He couldn't make out any feeling of anger or rebellion from his brother's old personality. The thought that the red-clad ninja may have changed that much struck him hard. There was another emotion there, above all of the others, and yet it was the only emotion he could not understand...

...Fear.

But fear for what? There had to be something. Yet as hard as he tried, Mike couldn't think of what might have caused so much fear in one being. Something had to have happened those ten years his brother had been missing. The question was 'what'?

**

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Author's Note:** Finally, it's finished!! And now I gotta work on the next chapter. -sighs- Ok...expect an update soon. Hopefully I'll get some more up before Christmas!! 


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Well, here's the next chapter. - It's a bit longer than the other chapters and also explains a lot about the past ten years as well as introduces a new character. This one might get a little sappy and dramatic, too...XD

**Leonardosgirl1771:** Well, here's you're update!! I hope ya like it. -

**Eridani23**: Oh, you'll_ definitely_ find out a _lot_ in this chapter. That's a big reason why it's so much longer than the others. Enjoy!!

**Alora05:** lol Yeah, it's fun writing cliffhangers. Reading them...not so much. XP I ask a lot of questions, too. Leo's just being Leo, I guess. All of them are kinda undecided about Raph. He _has_ been gone for ten years. And I believe some your questions will be answered in this chapter, though not quite all of them. You're gonna have a lot more soon, though. -grins- Anyways, thanks. I'll get updates in as often as possible!! And one last thing...ME LOVES CAKE!! XD

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"So..."

Raph looked up at Mike, who was coming over to sit beside him on his bed.

"Where did you go?" Mike asked. Raph looked away at the wall.

"Down by the coast," Raph answered quietly.

"Still in New York?"

"Yeah."

Mike nodded, wondering exactly how far away the New York coastline was. He fumbled for words in his mind, not wanting to mess things up again.

"Did you meet anyone?" He continued after a few moments of silence. For almost a minute, Raph said nothing. Finally, he turned to Mike with that eerie white eye. But instead of speaking, he just nodded. "Where are they?" Raph flinched and quickly averted his gaze. Mike opened his mouth to apologize, to say _something_, but Raph cut him off.

"I don't know," he murmured. "I'm not sure I _want_ to know."

"Why?" Mike knew he was treading on soft ground, but his curiosity was starting to get the better of him.

"Well, one of them I'd want to see, the other..." Raph trailed off as his voice started to shake. He gulped, closing his eyes and forcing his voice to be steady. "...I'd rather not ever see again."

"...Why?"

Raph chuckled. "You're like a broken record, Mike." Mike chuckled too, feeling less nervous.

"I'm glad you're back, bro." Mike hugged Raph before saying a quick goodnight and leaving for some well-deserved rest.

Raph's gaze followed the sound of his brother's footsteps until the door finally closed. Sighing, he found his way under the covers and rested his head on the pillows. Warm in the safety of his home with his brothers there to protect him, he fell asleep within moments.

* * *

Fitful sleep or not, Raph felt a lot better when he woke up than he had the night before. At first, he thought he was back in an alley, waking up after failing to stay awake. But when he felt the much softer bed under him, he remembered what had happened. _I'm...home?_ He wondered, sitting up. Listening, he heard quiet shuffling from outside of his room and guessed that it must be late morning. He realized he wasn't that tired anymore, but his stomach was growling.

Before he could get to his feet, a familiar feeling came over him. _Oh no, not here..._ He scanned the room instinctively, though he realized a heartbeat later that he wouldn't be able to see anything anyways.

"She must be topside...or maybe even in the sewers," he muttered.

"_I am closer than you think..."_

Raph barely had any time to react before he felt a bolt of electricity shoot through him. A blood-curdling scream escaped his lips as he fell off of his bed and onto the floor, his sheets fluttering to the ground next to him. He didn't hear the pounding footsteps and didn't have the time to worry about the door that was flung open. Writhing on the floor in pain, he could just barely register his name being called.

"Raph!" Don shouted as he burst into the room, followed closely by Leo and Mike.

He fell to his knees beside Raph and grabbed his brother's arm. Yelping, he immediately pulled back as he felt a shock of electricity. Thinking quickly, he grabbed the sheets that had fallen to the floor and wrapped them around his hands. When he grabbed his brother this time, the sheets prevented him from being shocked as well. He held his brother down, talking gently to him over his screams and trying to calm him down. About a minute later, Raph's screams cut off abruptly and he fell limp in Don's arms, sobbing. Don threw the sheets to the side and hugged his brother, cradling him.

"It's ok, Raph, you're fine," he soothed. The red-clad turtle responded by latching onto him, his head buried in his brother's plastron.

"Don...what happened?" Leo asked, his voice quiet as he tried to recover from the shock of what had just happened.

"He was electrocuted," Don explained. "I don't know how or who did it, but it scared the shell out of him."

"Is he ok?" Mike spoke up, his voice shaking.

"Well, it didn't help him at all, but it's nothing lethal," Don replied.

Raph finally stopped shaking after a couple of minutes. His brothers waited in silence, all except for Don, who continued murmuring comfortingly to him. After a few more moments, he opened his eye, looking around the room and searching for that familiar presence. It was gone. He relaxed, still clinging to Don, though he knew his brothers were waiting for an explanation. Silence engulfed the room, the only audible sound being Raph's fast, panicked breaths. He concentrated on his breathing for a while, clearing his mind and trying his best to sort things out. Don looked at Leo and Mike and motioned towards the door with his head. They got the hint and, reluctantly, left the room. The door closed with a soft _'click.'_ Don looked back down at his brother, nestled in his arms and as close to him as possible. He blinked away the tears that sprang to his eyes, feeling a spark of anger as he looked down at who he once knew to be so brave. Pretty stupid at times, but brave. Raph just tried to calm himself down enough to be able to talk without breaking down. He noticed the absence of his other two brothers, but as long as Don was here, he felt safe. Finally, he spoke.

"Don..." He whispered, so quiet that Don could barely hear him.

"Yeah, Raph?" Don murmured, still cradling him. Raph held his breath, wondering what his brother's reaction to his next question would be.

"...Do you believe in demons?"

Don froze, staring at Raph in bewilderment. He narrowed his eyes, wondering what his brother was talking about.

"Demons?" He echoed. "No...I don't think so."

"You should." Raph pulled away. "Cause I'm about to tell you about one."

Don tilted his head, curiosity overwhelming him. He'd never believed in demons or ghosts. They all seemed like fiction to him...but, then again, Raph had been through a lot more than he had in the past ten years. Besides, they'd encountered many things, including monsters, portals to alternate dimensions, time traveling staffs, and they'd even been created themselves, against all science, by strange ooze, so...why not?

"Alright, I'm listening." Don watched Raph as he fiddled with the sheets on the floor, obviously searching for the right way to start. "Why don't you tell me what happened when you left first?" Raph nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

"Well, when I left, I took all kinds of transportation," he began. "Trains, buses, and sometimes the tops of cars." Don looked alarmed, wondering if anyone had actually seen his brother. Then again, if they had, it would've been all over the news. He was sure he hadn't heard anything about it, so he continued to listen quietly. Raph went on. "After about half a year, I ended up on the New York coastline. It was hard finding place to hide there, but I managed to stay out of sight for the most part. I still helped people out and patrolled the city, but most of the time I spent trying to find food and shelter. It _was_ almost winter time around then. I didn't have to wait long before trouble found me once again." He fell silent, and Don guessed that this was where everything started.

"What happened?" He prodded gently.

"I met...Eclipse..." Raph had to practically force the name out, which didn't go unnoticed by Don.

"Who's Eclipse?" He questioned.

"She's a demon," Raph explained. "More like a demon-girl. She's half human, half spirit. She can morph into a demon and literally blend in with the shadows." He closed his eye, picturing Eclipse as much as he didn't want to. Starting to shake a bit, he looked back at Don and gestured to his scars and eye patch. "She's one who did all of _this_." Don instantly felt hatred towards this demon-girl. At least now he knew who had hurt his brother so badly. "She tortures people...for her own pleasure." Don's eyes widened.

"She...tortured you?" He gasped, wondering how anyone could be so cruel. Raph nodded.

"Along with many others," he added. "Most of her victims were human, but..." He paused, a ghost of a smile on his face. "...I did meet another mutant there." Don looked surprised, but before he could ask, Raph continued. "Most of her victims were also picked randomly. She tortured me a lot more than the others because I got in her way. It wasn't much of a fight, but it is where I lost my eye." He gently touched his eye patch, sighing at the memory. "Anyways, I was trying to stop her from harming one of the humans. She and her ninjas had cornered him and were about to knock him out cold when I showed up."

"Ninjas?" Don cut in. "Who were the ninjas?"

"I'm not sure if they had a clan name or anything, but they were loyal to Eclipse," Raph replied. "They're no Foot ninjas, either. These guys are fully trained and definitely know how to use their weapons. They could probably take the four on us down in a couple of minutes if we had to face enough of them." He shuddered. "And their weapons are more deadly then ours. These guys are dangerous." Don nodded.

"So they took you down?" He asked, but Raph shook his head.

"No, Eclipse did," he growled. "It didn't take her very long, either. She's more dangerous than all of her ninjas put together. Not only does she know how to use a weapon, but she also has powers. It's kinda like...black light."

"Black light?" Don raised an eye ridge. "Is that even possible? And how could someone have powers? It just doesn't make sense."

"It could make sense when I tell you her history, or it could just confuse you more." Raph closed his eyes, trying to remember exactly how the story had been told to him. "She used to be a regular human girl. Her parents were rich and loved her, and she was very popular at her school. She had a huge mansion and was always spoiled. She had the life everyone dreamed of." Don listened carefully, trying to ignore the way his brother's voice shook when he talked about Eclipse. "But one day, on her sixteenth birthday, there was an accident. She was caught in an explosion at a lab, and when they found her, she was covered in scratches and bruises and barely alive. When she healed, she gained many scars, and her life was ruined. Everyone stayed away from her and even her own parents disowned her. She was an outcast, like us." He absentmindedly traced one of the scars on his right arm. Don watched him, wondering what his brother was thinking right now. After a few moments, Raph continued. "She discovered her powers, and found a necklace one night when she went back to that same lab. Somehow, it seemed connected to her new powers and helped her to control them. She decided that she was a monster, so she ran away, as far away from her family and friends as she possibly could." Raph winced. Don noticed that Eclipse's past seemed much like Raph's, but still so different. He remembered what he'd said to his brother that night ten years ago, and once again felt guilt gnawing at him. "She began rounding up followers, and planned to destroy not just the people who disowned her, but the whole Earth. She'll be the only one left, once she completes her plans. When I found out, I did my best to put an end to it, but instead I just made things worse for myself. In the end, it was the other mutant that I had become close to who helped me escape."

"Who was the other mutant?" Don hoped he wasn't going too far with that one. Unfortunately, it seemed he was.

"I'd...rather not talk about it..." Raph looked away, remembering how their plan had gone horribly wrong. "We were separated, and I doubt I'll ever get to see her again..."

Don tilted his head. Her? So this mutant was female. He couldn't help but notice the way his brother's eyes softened at the mention of her name or the longing in his eyes that was as crystal clear as his other emotions. Blinking, he wondered if Raph thought of the mutant as more than just a friend. Perhaps, but he dared not ask. He could tell that Raph was starting to break down by the way he had his eyes closed tightly and his whole frame was shaking. Getting to his feet, he walked over to Raph's nightstand. There lay a piece of paper, carefully folded and set into place. Picking it up, he read over the familiar words.

"_My Last Note_." Raph's head snapped up and he stared in the direction of Don's voice. The purple-clad ninja always felt strange when his brother's blind gaze seemed to burn directly into his. He shook his head, brushing off the nagging thoughts, and unfolded the note. He scanned it, trying not to let the tears escape his eyes. "You apologized to all of us. And at the end, you said you would never come home." Raph's gaze dropped to the ground for a moment, then he looked back up at Don.

"_I'm sorry...I won't be coming home..._" Raph whispered. The words he had written on that piece of paper had been burned into his memory forever.

"But you did." Don knelt down on his knees beside Raph, carefully placing the paper in his brother's hands. Raph clutched it to his chest, tears forming at the edges of his eyes. Don put his hands on his knees, looking straight into Raph's one eye. "Why did you leave?...And why did you come home?"

"You know why I left," Raph murmured, his gaze locked with Don's.

"No, I don't," Don insisted. "You could have just apologized to us and we would've been happy to listen as well as forgive you."

"It's not that simple."

"Then why?"

Raph sighed. "Because I never thought my anger would go as far as making me actually _hurt_ my baby brother." He looked away. "It is a sin that I should not have committed, and have been punished for."

"Mike was devastated when you left." Don closed his eyes, remembering how each of them had taken it. "He was the first to forgive you, and he took your disappearance the hardest. He cried himself to sleep every night for a whole year after he read that note. He'd been the one to read it out loud to all of us." Raph slowly looked back at Don. "Leo blamed himself, of course, and barely ever slept or ate. Most of his time was spent looking for you." A small whining noise came from Raph's throat as he tried his hardest not to cry. "Sensei was worried more than any of us. He believed that he had failed you as a father as well as a mentor. It was nine years after you left that he died, and the only thing he'd truly wanted was to see his sons together again. But he never got his wish." Raph flinched, dropping his gaze to the ground. "And me? I couldn't work on any of my inventions. I was too distracted by guilt. I couldn't believe what I'd said to you. I was supposed to be the smart one, the voice of reason. I was supposed to be the one who was always calm and fix things when they went wrong." Raph closed his eye, tears threatening to spill over his cheeks. "We all felt something inside of us break when we found out that you'd left. We spent years looking for you, but after nine years of searching, we all knew there was no use. We were sure you had gone forever. But when Master Splinter died, he told us that he wanted to know that someday we would be reunited, that someday we would be whole again. His last words were 'Find him, and tell him how much you truly love him.' And we tried. We spent the next year searching, but once again we found nothing. We quit. We just couldn't take it anymore. We were all guilt-ridden and miserable, afraid that we would never see our lost brother again, afraid that we would never get to see you and tell you how sorry we were and how much we love you. And when we finally found you...we didn't even recognize you. Something changed you, Raph, but we still can't figure out what. Was it torture that finally broke you? Or were you already broken when you left us? How _could_ you leave us? And is it too late for us to tell you that we love you?"

Finally, Raph completely collapsed in Don's arms. He didn't bother to hold back his tears as they streamed down his face. Don hugged his brother, wondering if he'd gone too far. But he'd had to let that all out. He needed someone to answer his questions, and the only one who could was Raphael. Leaning back against the wall, he cradled his brother and held him close. He was sure Leo and Mike could hear Raph's sobs, but hopefully they had enough sense to let Don handle it. After all, he was the only one that knew about what had happened. And unless Raph asked him to tell their brothers about what had gone on in the past ten years, he would make sure it stayed that way.

It was about ten minutes later when silence finally reigned in the lair. Raph was still clinging to Don, a few tears falling though he made no sound. Don waited patiently for Raph to start talking, and he didn't have to wait long.

"I'm sorry," Raph whispered, his voice so quiet that Don had to listen closely to hear it at all. "I didn't know what to do. I was scared and hurt and just...I knew that I had hurt not only Mikey, but you, Leo, and sensei, too. I didn't want that to happen again. I was supposed to be the one to protect you guys, not hurt you. We all had a responsibility to look after each other, but I failed in doing so. I knew that it would happen again, and I knew that the only way to prevent that was to leave. I thought that if I was gone that you guys could finally laugh and be happy without me dragging you down. I was always a pain and I always ignored the rules. Master Splinter always told me that none of you would want me to change, but I knew that if I did, it would only make things better. I was the one who always got angry and hurt people that weren't my enemy. I sometimes heard you laughing and joking when I wasn't around. You all seemed so happy without me, and that's when I first realized you'd all be better off without my attitude making you all miserable. I just wanted you to be happier, but I knew that was impossible with my temper. You are all so important to the team. Leo's the leader, you're the braniac, and Mike's the one who always makes jokes and cheers everyone up. And me? I just sulk and snap at everyone. You had every right to hate me..."

Don just stared, listening quietly. He'd never known his brother felt this way about himself. They'd never really talked much before anyways. What Raph didn't understand was that, while he could be annoying and did hurt others at times, they _all_ loved him. He was their brother, their family. How could he think that they hated him? Then again, the way that they'd acted towards him on that one night had been awful. Don wasn't surprised that it had hurt him, but he'd never expected that his brother would actually leave. He had never thought that someday they might be a little too harsh and unwillingly force their brother further into the shadows he seemed so akin to. He shook his thoughts away and looked down at Raph. Feeling guiltier than ever now that he knew his brother's true feelings, he hugged him tighter.

"Raph, we _never_ hated you," he insisted. "Sure you could be a real pain sometimes, but we really wouldn't want you to change, not at all. We wouldn't be a team without you. You balance us out and keep Leo in order, too." Raph looked up at him, surprised. Don smiled ever so slightly. "Well, _somebody_ has to keep him in his place. Otherwise, we'd be more like his slaves than his brothers." He chuckled, and Raph smiled a bit. "I can sort of understand why you left, but you really shouldn't think that way. You're just as important as any of us. Just look how we fell apart after you left. Whenever we went out to fight, there always seemed to be something missing. None of us could ever place a finger on it, but I know now that _you_ were the thing that was missing. You're our strength, our support that gets us up when we fall. That's why losing you had such a big impact on not only our hearts, but our performance as well." Raph nodded, seeming to accept all of this. Don's voice turned even more serious. "You have to promise me, Raph, that you'll never run away again. You have to promise that you'll stay here and never leave us."

"I promise," Raph whispered, closing his eye and hugging Don.

Smiling, Don hugged him back. For a few minutes they just sat there, warm in each other's embrace. Finally, Don stood up, helping Raph to stand with him.

"Come on, we should get back to Leo and Mike," he suggested. "You're probably hungry too."

Raph smiled and nodded. Don started to lead him, but Raph pulled away from his grip, a little irritated. He motioned for Don to go ahead. Shrugging, Don opened the door and walked out. Raph followed the sound of his footsteps, trying to picture the lair as he remembered it. He wished he could at least see it one last time, along with his brother's familiar faces. A couple of seconds later, Don stopped. Raph stopped behind him. He could tell that they were in the kitchen, and heard his other two brothers in the room as well. He'd learned how to tell other's emotions a long time ago, and noticed Leo and Mike seemed nervous and slightly uncomfortable. He wasn't surprised, considering he'd been gone for the last ten years. The scraping of a chair against the floor brought him out of his thoughts.

"Sit down." Don's voice reached his ears.

Pinpointing the sound, he carefully made his way over to the chair and sat down, not once taking his eyes off of the floor. Don was slightly surprised at how his brother could walk around and do things so naturally. Then he realized Raph had probably gotten a lot of practice. Apparently he'd been blind for a long time. Smirking, he got out some cereal. It had been his brother's favorite food ever since he was little.

Raph smiled a little when he heard cereal being poured into a bowl. _I guess they haven't forgotten what stuff I like best,_ he mused silently to himself. He tried to ignore the way his other two brothers' gazes burned into him. Don seemed to be the most comfortable around him, though he couldn't figure out why. It was strange. He and Don had never talked much, even when they were little. They were like night and day. While Don was the brains, Raph was the brawn. Don was shy and almost always level-headed. Raph was a hot-head and wasn't afraid to say what he thought. But now, Raph was a lot more like Don. Though he wasn't exactly that stable, he was more timid and withdrawn. He'd always wondered what the true cause of his shift in personality had been. Maybe it was a combination of things, or maybe...

"Here." Don's voice interrupted his thoughts. A bowl was set down in front of him, the milk lapping at the sides. He muttered a 'thanks' as he was handed a spoon. Much to his annoyance, he could practically feel his brothers' eyes on him.

"You know, I'd rather eat without everyone staring at me," he muttered.

A bit surprised, all three of his brothers smiled sheepishly and went back to their own business. Don snuck a look at Raph as he slowly took a bite of the cereal. It didn't seem too hard for him to find the bowl or his mouth. Once again, Don reminded himself that Raph had probably gotten a lot of practice with being blind. He got something for himself and they all ate in silence. Every now and then he would glance over at Raph, and he noticed his brothers doing the same. It was weird having him back home after he was away for so long. He wondered if things would ever be the same. _Probably not,_ he mused. He looked into his brother's fearful, anxious gaze that kept darting around the room. _Definitely not..._

**

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Author's Note:** Well, I promised another update before Christmas, so ya got one. -grins- I _told_ ya it'd get sappy. X3 Anyways, this chapter does explain a lot. Now ya know what happened to Raph AAAAND how Leo, Don, and Mike all reacted to him leaving. And you'll find out more about Eclipse and that mutant soon enough... D 

Raph: O.o -gulps-

Well, maybe not in the next chapter, but I do have it typed up for whichever future chapter I'll make it. You'll notice that certain parts will be updated _much_ faster than others. That's cause they're so...interesting...that I couldn't wait to write them. -smirks- And if ya think this is dramatic, just wait til I get to certain parts of this fic. You guys haven't _seen_ dramatic yet. -reads over chapter- I've noticed that Raph cries a lot in this chapter...-shrugs- Oh well!! It just adds to the drama. Yay drama!! Well, see ya next time!! -waves-


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** And finally, another chapter finished!! This one was particularly hard me. I dunno why, but I kept getting stuck. Curse my infernal writer's block!! XP Anyways, thanks for the reviews guys!!

**Leonardosgirl1771:** lol Sweet!! I hope ya like this next chapter as well.

**Mangalover248:** X3 Thanks!! Creepy and sappy are just two of my specialties. -grins-

**Alora05:** Thank you!! Well, I can safely say that it's not Mona and ya will get to meet her, but you'll have to wait a few more chapters for that. And Eclipse _is_ the demon. Heh, sorry if that part was confusing...but that's what I aim for!! X3 As for the other questions...you'll just have to wait and see. -smiles cheekily-...OOH!! BROWNIE!! -munches on brownie-

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Raphael didn't make a sound from where he sat beside Mike on the couch. He could hear Don in the background. His purple-clad brother had insisted on calling April and Casey. He had to strain to make out Don's words over the blasting of the TV. Apparently Mike was intrigued by some action movie, for the sounds of guns and yelling reached the blind ninja's ears. He could make out Don's friendly greeting and heard him inviting the two over. Smiling a bit, he realized that his brother was careful not to mention anything about him to April and Casey. He just wished he would be able to see the look on his human friends' faces when they saw him. Priceless. 

Only when Don ended the conversation with a quick 'good-bye' did Raph feel the gaze that was trained on him. Leo.

Raph frowned. He'd noticed that his eldest brother hadn't said much to him since Don had found him in the alley. In fact, it seemed like his brother was avoiding him. His amused look turned to hurt and he dropped his gaze to the ground.

"Something wrong?"

Leo's voice startled him. He'd been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed his brother move to sit beside him. And since when were his feelings so easy to read? He pushed the nagging thoughts away and nodded, though his one-eyed gaze remained trained on the floor.

"Hmph."

He couldn't help but smile slightly at the somewhat pouting sound his brother gave him. Though he knew the blue-masked turtle would rather have a worded answer rather than just a nod, he really didn't feel like talking...

...Especially after what had happened this morning.

Raph shuddered, barely even registering his actions as he pulled his knees up to his chest. He jumped a bit when he felt a hand come down on his shoulder.

"Something's troubling you."

Blinking, the red-clad turtle couldn't help but remember his father. Leo sounded so much like Splinter just then, and that didn't help in the least to calm Raph's nerves. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, trying to oppress his emotions before they spiraled out of control once again.

"You know you can tell me, right?"

Raph hugged his knees tighter, his youngest brother's sidelong glances not going unnoticed. He tried to relax and told Leo the same thing he'd said to Don earlier that morning.

"It's not that simple."

"We can't help you if you won't tell us what's wrong," Leo sighed.

"I didn't ask for your help," Raph replied bluntly, looking up to meet his brother's gaze.

"You don't have to," Leo insisted. He sounded more than a little hurt.

"I don't _want_ you to help me!" Raph's voice raised a little, but it sounded more frightened than angry. He calmed down and looked away, his next words barely above a whisper. "I don't want you to get hurt too."

An eerie silence met his words. He heard Don's soft footsteps that had been approaching the couch stop and felt Mike stiffen beside him. The only sound came from the TV. He could feel Leo's hand tense up and wondered why his words had hit his brothers so hard. The warm touch on his shoulder disappeared, but, as much as he'd liked the comfort, he didn't protest. The silence lasted for lord knows how long, until it was finally broken. Raph heard Don sigh and felt him lean against the back of the couch.

"Raph, I don't know what-"

"Hey guys!"

Don was cut off by April's cheerful greeting as she and Casey walked into the lair. Three heads turned to look at them.

"Hi!" Mike chirped.

The orange-masked turtle jumped over the back of the couch and ran up to meet the two humans, forgetting about the unfinished conversation that had begun between him and his brothers. Leo shook his head and stood up, joining his little brother.

"Hey April, Casey," he greeted them.

Don smiled and gave the two a little wave, still leaning against the couch.

"So, what's up?" Casey asked. "You don't usually just call us at random times of the day and ask us over-OW!"

April glared sternly at Casey, who returned the look while rubbing his side where she had elbowed him.

"Thanks for inviting us," she said politely, rolling her eyes at Casey.

Mike snickered, earning a smack from Leo. He yelped and rubbed his head, though his cheeky smile didn't fade. The eldest turtle sighed but couldn't help a small smile. Don cleared his throat, interrupting the group.

"_Any_ways," he began, "there _was_ a reason I asked you to come down."

He gestured to the couch from where he leaned against the back of it. Exchanging a confused glance with Casey, April was the first to walk around so she could see what Don was talking about. Raph sighed, his arms crossed, and looked over towards the footsteps as they came to an abrupt stop. Wondering what had shocked April, Casey followed her lead and stopped beside her, staring wordlessly at the couch's lone occupant.

"Raphael?" April finally spoke up, her eyes wide as saucers.

Raph gave her a soft, and somewhat smug, smile. He jumped as he was suddenly grabbed into a tight hug.

"You came back!" April exclaimed, though her voice was barely above a whisper. She let go of the red-clad turtle and stepped back, her green gaze taking in his form.

"Hey!" Casey greeted his long-lost friend cheerfully. He came up beside April, clapping Raph affectionately on the shoulder. "Long time no see!"

"Yeah," Raph murmured, trying to ignore the irony in that last statement. "Guess so."

Casey frowned, not used to seeing the red-masked ninja so soft-spoken and...different. Before he could say anything, though, Mike spoke.

"So...are ya ever gonna tell us what happened?" He asked, leaning over the couch to look at Raph.

Don scowled at his nosy brother and smacked him firmly on the head. Mike yelped, clutching at his newest sore spot, and glared at Don.

"What'd I do!?"

Don huffed, exasperated, and decided to just ignore his little brother. He glanced nervously down at Raph and went around the couch to sit beside him.

"You don't have to," he murmured just loud enough for his red-clad brother to hear.

Raph nodded, his sightless gaze fixed on the ground. For the first time, April noticed his eyes. The one with the eye patch was pretty obvious and when she looked closer she saw his blind eye. Casey apparently noticed, too.

"Hey, what's with the eye?" He asked. Don's head snapped up in the human's direction and he frantically shook his head, making cutting movements across his neck. "It's all white and stuff."

Dom smacked his forehead before looking at his brother, waiting for a reaction. For a few moments, Raph didn't reply. He gritted his teeth, his fists clenched, and let out a long sigh.

"It's nothing," he muttered, trying to relax.

"It can't be nothing," Casey retorted. Don shot him a glare, but he didn't seem to notice. "Why can't you-"

"I said it's _nothing_, Casey!" Raph snapped, his voice icy.

His eyes flashed angrily, but it only lasted for a moment. Don laid a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. Raph shrugged it off and stood up, heading for his room without another word. His shoulder brushed the doorframe as he passed it, but other than that he had no trouble making his way through the lair at all. They all winced as the door was slammed shut.

"What was that all about?" Casey wondered aloud.

The others glared at him and April smacked him hard on the shoulder. Don got to his feet and started towards Raph's room.

"I better talk to him," he sighed. Leo put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Actually," he began. "I think I should do that. I need to talk to him, anyways."

Don blinked. "Ok..." He agreed, watching as Leo went over to Raph's door.

* * *

Raph closed the door a little louder than intended. He sighed and slid down to the floor, his shell against the wall right beside the door. His hand unconsciously moved up to touch his blind eye. He hadn't meant to snap at Casey - his human friend had only been curious - but he'd never told anyone about what happened to his eye. Even the mutant he'd befriended before didn't know what had happened._ I know they deserve to hear it, but I just...can't,_ he sighed inwardly._ I can't bear to remember it..._

A soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He didn't reply, not really sure if he wanted to talk right now. Nevertheless, the door opened. He didn't look up as it closed with a soft _'click'_ and someone sat down beside him. There was a long pause, neither one sure what they wanted to say. Finally, the silence was broken.

"You ok, bro?"

It was Leo. Raph nodded a little, looking away at the far wall. He heard a sigh come from his older brother.

"I really wish you would _talk_." His voice wasn't bitter. It actually sounded concerned. When he got no answer, Leo continued. "I know you don't like to talk about it." Raph winced, dropping his gaze to the ground. "...Was it really that bad?"

"You have no idea..." Raph whispered.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, but this time he didn't pull away. They both sat quietly, enjoying the peace. There didn't seem to be any noise coming from the others, either. Raph relaxed, a faint smile on his face. For once, he wasn't afraid of the silence. Unfortunately, it didn't last very long.

Raph felt his heart jolt at the familiar presence. He stiffened and looked around, though he couldn't see anything.

"What's wrong?"

Leo's sudden voice made Raph jump. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried not to panic.

"The shadows...are shifting," he murmured.

"What?" Leo asked, bewildered.

"Tell me you can see the shadows shifting!" Raph cried, looking fearfully at his brother. "You _have_ to see it!"

"What's going on Raph!?" Leo demanded. "I don't see anything!"

"_Of course you don't..."_

They both froze. The feminine voice was a hiss, echoing everywhere in the room and making it impossible to pinpoint. A dark chuckle came from nowhere.

"Please...t-tell me you heard that," Raph stammered, his voice shaking.

"Yeah...I heard it," Leo murmured, wide-eyed.

The blue-masked ninja's eyes narrowed and he got to his feet, pulling out his katanas. Raph yelped as the warmth beside him left. He tried to back up further, but his shell hit the wall. Trembling, he hugged his knees to his chest and whimpered.

"Show yourself!" Leo growled. The whimper he heard from his brother only sparked his anger.

"_Foolish mutant..."_

Raph closed his eye tightly, pushing away his wild emotions.

"_Even if you could see me, you aren't worthy to fight me..."_

Leo jumped as he felt something rush past him. He could feel the dark presence now.

"_But if you insist..."_

"Get OUT!" Leo started and turned to see his brother standing up. Raph clenched his fists, his blinded eye full of rage. "Leave him alone!"

There was a furious hiss, but Raph didn't flinch. He wasn't going to sit here and do nothing. Not this time.

"_Who are you to-"_

"I said leave, demon!" He snarled, staring intently at the shadows in the far corner of his room. Even when blind, he could see those glowing red eyes and glistening white fangs, but he knew Leo could not.

"_You've not seen the last of me, Raphael..."_

Raph cried out as he was suddenly flung into the wall. He slumped on the ground, dazed but unharmed. Leo immediately sheathed his weapons and knelt down by him. The presence had disappeared.

"Raph, are you ok?" Leo asked anxiously.

"I'm fine," Raph insisted, sitting up and rubbing his head.

They both jumped as the door was flung open. Don and Mike rushed into the room with Casey and April a little ways behind.

"What happened?" Don exclaimed when he saw his brothers.

"I don't know," Leo replied, looking at Raph.

"We heard yelling and a big crash!" Mike added.

Raph looked up at Don as the purple-clad turtle crouched down beside him. The look told Don all he needed to know.

"Maybe we should head topside for a little bit," he suggested. "It's warmed up since yesterday and we could all use some fresh air."

"Uh-huh," Raph muttered in agreement.

He got to his feet, stumbling a bit. He could tell the others were watching him very closely, ready to catch him if he faltered. Not that he planned to.

"Are you sure?" April asked, clearly worried.

"We'll all be fine," Don assured her. "You guys can come, too, if you want."

"Nah, we've got some plans tonight anyways," Casey spoke up before April could reply. "Well, see ya later!"

"Bye guys!" Raph started when April gave him a hug. She whispered into his ear so the others couldn't hear. "See ya, Raph, and...I'm sorry. I hope you feel better soon."

She let go and he heard her walk away after Casey. Puzzled, he tried to figure out what she meant. _Oh yeah,_ he thought._ Don probably told her about me being...blind and all._ He hated it when people felt sorry for him, but he didn't have time to ponder. His thoughts were interrupted when someone grabbed his hand and began pulling him. He jerked back a bit, startled, but relaxed when he realized it was just one of his brothers.

"Sorry," Mike apologized, chuckling sheepishly.

Raph sighed and shook his head, letting his little brother lead him out of his room. Leo and Don followed close by, grabbing their winter gear. Mike helped him put a coat, hat, and some snow pants on, but he immediately refused when he was offered gloves.

"You're hands are gonna freeze, bro," Mike chided gently.

"Mikey, how do you think I move around the way I do?" Raph shot back, putting his hands on his hips.

"Uh...I dunno," Mike replied, confused. He yelped when Raph whacked him straight on the head.

"I _feel_, ya moron!" Raph snapped, exasperated but slightly amused.

There was a stunned silence. Raph narrowed his eye, wondering what was going on. Then he heard Mike let out one of his girlish squeals and grunted as his youngest sibling practically jumped on him.

"Get off!" He growled, nearly suffocating in his brother's tight grasp.

"Raphie's back!" Mike cried joyfully.

Raph blinked and paused. He hadn't realized he'd just done what he used to do a long time ago. _But...no...I don't want to be like that again..._ He heard Leo and Don laughing and smiled._ Or maybe I do._

A few minutes later, they were all ready to go. Raph stayed a bit behind, following the sound of his brothers' footsteps. He heard one pair stop as one of them dropped back beside him. Neither of them said anything, though Raph vaguely wondered who it was.

"So...mind telling me what happened?" It was Leo again. Raph gave him a quizzical look, though he had an idea of what his brother was talking about. "There was something in your room-"

"I don't-...I don't want to talk about it," Raph interrupted, his voice breaking. He took a deep breath, calming himself. "You'll find out soon enough..."

"Ok," Leo replied softly. Raph felt him put a hand on his shoulder as they walked. "But if you ever want to tell me...I'll be more than happy to listen."

Both of them looked up when they heard a snicker from up ahead. It was followed by a loud _'SMACK'_!

"Stop eavesdropping, Mikey!" Don snapped, though Raph could tell he'd probably been doing the same thing.

"OW! Why is everyone hitting me today!?" Mike whined.

"Because you're a moron!" Raph shot back, rolling his eye.

Leo and Don snickered while Mike continued whining. _Maybe things will go back to the way they used to be,_ Raph mused, smiling as he followed his brothers towards the nearest manhole. _Maybe things will get better._

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Well, there it is!! I promise that the next chapter will be more..._interesting_, if ya know what I mean. -smiles mischeviously- Oh, and I've already got chapter 6 done and chapter 7 is about halfway finished, so those should be quick updates. They were two of the parts I just couldn't wait to write. -chuckles evilly- See ya next time!! -waves- 


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry!! -bangs head on desk repeatedly- I absolutely HATE this chapter!! It took me so long to write cause I kept getting writer's block and it's SO short!! . Grr, why must I have writers block?? WHY!!?? Ahem...well, yeah, anyways, I'm sorry for the wait and I promise things will get more interesting very soon!!

**mangalover248:** Thank you!!

**Eridani23:** Thanks!!

**Alora05:** lol Yeah, I wanted to make sure I put something with Leo in this story. Usually I leave him out of pretty much everything. X3 Oh, but I do love leaving my readers with all of those questions. Keeps people turning the pages!! Heh, I should know. There are so many stories I read that have cliffhangers after every chapter!! O.o XP Yeah, Eclipse is really evil. You'll see a lot more of her soon!! lol Thanks!! Yayness for cookies!! XD

**S.E.Ragland:** Yeah, I wondered about authors notes too when I first started reading fics. It's nothing special, really. You just put type 'em in with your chapters whenever ya want. Thanks for the review!!

* * *

Raph sighed with relief as the cool wind hit his face. He pulled himself up out of the manhole, instinctively crouching low. He heard Leo replace the sewer cover behind him. His eldest brother grabbed his hand, leading him to the nearby alley where his other two brothers were waiting. The rattling of the fire escape reached his ears as Mike and Don began climbing up to the rooftops. 

"Are you sure you can jump?" Leo asked for the umpteenth time. Raph rolled his eyes, starting to get annoyed.

"If you're really that worried, then say 'jump' whenever we get to the edge of the roof, ok?" He replied. "It'll help me out a ton."

"Ok." His brother sounded satisfied, though he was obviously still unsure.

"And if it helps you any, remember that I've been doing everything blind for more than nine years," the red-masked ninja added. "Now come on."

He'd located the fire escape by the sound Don and Mike had made on it when they went up and had no trouble finding it at all. It was easy getting up on the roof, but honestly he was a little nervous about jumping across. He had been for a while, seeing as he was blind, but he'd learned to do many things on his own without using his sight. It was simple really, or at least it was once he got the hang of it. He heard Leo reach the top behind him, though he obviously missed the meaningful look his brothers exchanged.

Mike hadn't been kidding when he said his hands would get cold, but he'd been traveling in winter with only his belt, knee pads, elbow pads, mask, and wrist bands for a while now, so it didn't affect him much at all.

"Alright, let's go."

Leo's voice interrupted his thoughts and he heard his brothers set off. He dashed across the roof alongside Leo, putting all of his focus on his sense of touch. It was something he'd learned a long time ago when he first went blind. He had to forget about sight and concentrate on his senses of hearing and touch, and sometimes even his smell. Though he'd gotten used to seeing nothing but constant darkness, he still missed being able to gaze upon vibrant, rich colors and see the familiar faces of his family. Hearing them just wasn't enough.

There was open space in front of him. He noticed just before Leo said "jump," and kicked off hard with his legs. There was a split second of the sensation that he was floating, flying, gliding through the air. It was a moment that felt like a lifetime but in reality only lasted a heartbeat before his feet touched the next roof. It seemed that his brothers had chosen the easiest path across the roofs, with mostly flat areas and smaller distances to jump.

As he turned and jumped with them, he realized that he remembered this route. They had often come here as kids, naïve and just beginners in the art of Ninjitsu. Then they had been small and were only starting to learn how to jump across the roofs like this. All of them had been scared at first, even Raphael himself, and even the 'Fearless Leader', Leonardo, had been frightened by the thought of jumping and falling short to plummet into the alley far below. His mind went back to those times. Those times when he would race his brothers across these rooftops, laughing and playing like the child he never really got to be.

He was dragged from his thought again as he jumped, getting the cue from Leo moments before.

"You know, you're better at this than I thought," Leo commented.

"Uh-huh," Raph replied, breathing a bit harder than normal. "You just can't seem to trust me."

"What!?" Leo exclaimed. "Of course I trust you!"

"You sure aren't acting like it," Raph huffed.

"How can I fully trust you, Raph, when you left us without any warning at all? When you left sensei without even saying goodbye!?"

"Don't push it, Leo!" Raph snarled, feeling a rush of anger - of his old personality. "I don't need you to remind me about what happened!"

"Raph-"

"You should really just shut your big mouth, cause I doubt anything _nice_ will come out of it!"

"Raph, ju-!"

"You know what, Le-"

Raph had been so focused on his brother that he didn't notice the open space in front of him. He let out a startled shout as he tripped and toppled over the edge of the roof, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. Leo's desperate voice reached his ears as his eldest brother screamed his name and for a few moments he just fell. Adrenaline rushed through him as he plummeted downwards and he instinctively grabbed onto the ladder that his hand touched, jerking to a stop. Yelping at the sudden halt, he paused for a moment before he managed to slowly descend to the ground. As he found out moments later, that had been a big mistake.

There was a feminine scream and Raph whipped around when he heard it, alarmed. He heard the ladder rattle as his brothers came to join him. Wide-eyed, he could only stand there, frozen in place, as the young woman continued screaming and ran off, her footsteps fading away. The blind ninja blinked, bewildered and ashamed. Why had he let his anger get the better of him? Hadn't he already solved that problem?

His thoughts were interrupted as he was suddenly grabbed and whipped around. He jumped, surprised, but didn't have time to react before he heard the furious voice of his brother.

"What is your problem!?" Leo growled. "You hot-headed_ idiot_! Do you realize what just happened!?" Raph stared blankly back at his brother, completely shocked by this sudden event. "Someone just _saw_ you, Raphael! You let your rage get the better of you again!"

"But-...I-" Raph stammered frantically, realization finally dawning on him.

"That's enough, we're going home! _Now_!" Raph was jerked roughly in the opposite direction. His eldest brother half pulled, half dragged him to the nearest manhole. "Go!"

Startled by Leo's change in attitude, Raph scrambled hurriedly down into the sewers, tears forming in his one eye. He heard his younger brothers talking quietly, no doubt trying to get their older sibling to calm down, but he didn't pay any attention. Not knowing what else to do, he took off down the tunnels as fast as he could, not really caring where he ended up.

* * *

"You just had to start, didn't you!?" 

Leo reluctantly looked up at Mike, feeling yet another pang of guilt when he saw his youngest brother's fiery glare.

"Look, Mikey, I said I was sorry," the blue-clad ninja sighed.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to!" Mike shot back, scowling. "You should be telling Raph you're sorry, but he's not here right now, is he!?"

"Calm down, bro," Don soothed, putting a hand on Mike's shoulder. "I'm sure he just needed some time alone to think."

"Yeah, right," Mike snorted. "That's what we all thought last time, but then he didn't come back at all!" He turned his gaze to Leo again. "We waited ten years, Leo, and when we finally got him back, you drove him away again!"

"It was his own fault!" Leo snarled, his sudden rage surprising his two brothers slightly. "He was the one letting his anger get the better of him, and I'm not going to let him do something so stupid again!"

Don blinked, wondering what exactly his eldest brother was talking about. He knew what had happened ten years ago had affected Leo much more than he let on, and it only took him a few moments to realize...

Leo somehow felt responsible for what Raph had done. The blue-masked turtle often blamed himself even for things he didn't do. He was trying to protect his brothers, mostly Raph.

Still, Don didn't see any reason for Leo to snap like he had. He was a bit angry with the blue-masked turtle as well, but he took a calmer approach.

"It doesn't matter what Raph did, you shouldn't have treated him like that," Don muttered, his voice uncharacteristically cold. "I don't think he's going to run away again, but you should apologize nonetheless."

Leo glowered at him. As much as he knew his braniac brother was right, he couldn't help but feel ticked off at Raph. They all knew what would happen if humans got a hold of them...

His thoughts were interrupted when the door opened. All three turtles in the room turned their attention to their brother, who was standing just beyond the doorway. Surprised, they could do nothing but stare.

Raph clenched his teeth when he heard the silence. He knew his brothers were in the room, he'd heard them talking. Ignoring them, he made his way over and came to a halt beside the couch. The few moments of silence seemed longer as he stood there, his arms crossed and his gaze trained on the ground.

"Raph?"

He didn't look up when Mike said his name, nor did he react when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He did, however, stiffen as his youngest brother pulled him into a hug.

"You ok, bro?" Mike asked quietly. Raph pulled away, letting his arms fall to his sides. He heard the hurt in the normally ecstatic ninja's voice when he spoke again, but he tried not to pay attention to it. "It's not your fault, you know..."

Raph replied with a warning growl, making Mike step back in surprise. It's not that he didn't appreciate the attempt to comfort. He just wasn't sure what he felt at the moment.

"What's your problem?" Leo questioned, narrowing his eyes.

"Just leave me alone," Raph grumbled, finally bringing his one eye up to his brother.

"I thought you'd changed," Leo continued, acting as if he hadn't heard him. "Why are you in such a bad mood all of a sudden?"

"Leo..." Don began nervously, noticing the way Raph's fists clenched and unclenched.

"You know what happened, and yet you continue to be a jerk." Leo didn't flinch when Raph's gaze turned to a glare.

"I do _not_ need to be reminded."

"Apparently you do! You need to learn to take control of your anger instead of letting it control you!"

"And you really need to shut your mouth!"

"I'm not letting this go so easily! You were too blinded by rage to notice the jump, and you landed directly in front of a human!"

"But I couldn't s-"

"You should've known better than to reveal yourself! You know how dangerous it is for us! You-"

"I couldn't _see_ her, Leo!"

Leo fell silent at the sudden outburst, his anger dissipating. Raph had his eyes closed and his teeth gritted. He felt both furious and agonized at the same time, the two sides of his personality once again battling against each other to dominate. His brothers were all watching him, wide-eyed. He snarled before whipping around and stalking out of the lair, disappearing before his brothers could stop him.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Gah, I still hate this chapter. Not counting the prologue, it's the shortest one!! But I just couldn't think of anything to write at all. Stupid thing...-.- Well, I already have the next chapter done so I'll get that up soon as I can. I swear it's going to be a LOT better than this one!! Now we start getting into the real action. -smirks- So...enjoy, and see ya next time!! 


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Yay, another update!! -cheers- I must warn you, this is an intense chapter. Beware of my evilness!! MUAHAHAHAHA!! -coughs- Yeah...well, ANYways, enjoy, and thanks for all the reviews!! X3

**mangalover248:** lol This reply has to be one of my favorites. I dunno why, but it always makes me laugh!! -giggles- X3 Anyways, thanks!!

**Eridani23:** Thank you!! I just thought it was too short. -shrugs-

**S.E.Ragland:** Thanks!!

**xLannyx:** lol Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough!! -grins-

**Alora05:** Aw, thanks!! -blushes- I always aim to please my readers!! Ooh, cake!! Heh, I just had chocolate cake for dessert, too!! XD

**KriStALKaLEi:** Yeps!! Heh, I guess everyone but me likes this chapter, huh?? XP Well, thanks and I hope ya like this next chapter better!!

**BigfootSighted:** lol Oh, you'll find out, you can count on that!! -snickers- Thanks for the review!!

**Lady-Of-The-Rings:** Thank you!!

* * *

Raph carefully made his way to the rooftops, trusting his senses of hearing and touch to tell him what was going on around him. He sighed as he walked along the familiar roof, stopping inches away from the edge. Looking out at the scenery, he tried to imagine the line of trees in the distance he'd seen so many times before when he was younger. He could still imagine them, and he hoped that they were still there. It just wasn't the same not being able to actually _see_ them...

He shook the sad thoughts away and closed his one eye, breathing in the cool scents of New York City in the winter time. It was beginning to get warmer, signaling the approach of spring.

Suddenly, he whipped around, gazing fearfully into the shadows behind him. His sais were in his hands instantly as figures clad in black emerged. But these were no Foot ninjas...

"No..." Raph breathed, his eye widening. He knew who they were, blind or not.

The ninjas advanced without hesitation, striking the sightless turtle mercilessly. Though he was still a formidable fighter, Raph was weak and these ninjas were far more intelligent and skilled than the Foot. He felt blow after blow as their weapons rained down on him. While he did manage to block most of them with his sais, he felt the sting of their weaponry over and over again. Gritting his teeth, he fought harder, desperately trying to find a way out of his situation before-

"Raphael."

At the sound of that voice, Raph froze. The other ninjas around him backed off, revealing the source of the voice. He slowly turned his sightless gaze to the girl, shaking violently.

"E-eclipse..."

Eclipse watched at him with her blood-red eyes, a smirk on her crimson lips. Her midnight black hair was disturbed slightly by the wind that ruffled her black cape. She wore a black suit and black boots, her black-gloved hands relaxed at her sides. The suit showed off her feminine features, following the curves of her body with barely a single wrinkle. Her smirk broke into a smile, but there was nothing pleasant about it. Her eyes held a hunger for revenge and a craving for blood.

"So, we meet again," she rumbled, her voice icy but still liquid smooth. Raph stared, wide-eyed and breathing hard. She was delighted at this. "You have not lost your fear of me, I see."

"I-I'm n-not afraid!" Raph retorted, trying his best to steady his shaky voice.

"So I see!" Eclipse chuckled, clearly amused. "Well, let's not waste time with words. You know why I've come here, do you not?"

"I'm not going back there!" Raph cried out suddenly. "You can't make me!"

"Oh, no, I don't intend on taking you back," Eclipse assured him, but that only made him feel even more nervous. She narrowed her eyes, walking forward until she was right in front of her enemy. "In fact, I'll show you what I intend to do."

Before Raph could react, she snatched his sais. Pain shot through him as his own beloved weapons were shoved into his stomach. Eclipse smirked and twisted the blades inside the wound, making Raph gasp in pain. She leaned closer and whispered into his ear.

"You have lived in fear of me, and now you will die in fear of me."

* * *

"Where could he be?"

Don looked back at his orange-clad brother. Mike had tears in his eyes, no matter how hard he was trying to hold them back.

"We'll find Raph soon, Mikey," Leo assured him, glancing over his shoulder from his position in front of his two younger brothers. "He said himself that he would never be able to leave us again."

"I-I guess so," Mike agreed quietly, his voice still doubtful. "I hope he's ok..."

"He _will_ be ok, Mike," Don interrupted determinedly. "He _has_ to be."

Mike nodded wordlessly, sniffing and wiping away a few stray tears. Don sighed as he jumped across yet another rooftop. They had been searching for almost half an hour now, and there was still no sign of their blind brother. Despite his words, he was worried too. How could Raph even find his way around without being able to see? He shook his head, trying to get rid of the depressing thoughts.

Suddenly, he froze, causing Mike to bump into him.

"Wait a minute!" He exclaimed before Mike could react. Leo turned to him, walking back a few paces to his brothers. "I know _exactly_ where Raph went!"

"What? How?" Leo demanded.

"Just follow me," Don ordered, setting off in the opposite direction from where they'd been going.

Bewildered, his brothers had no choice but to follow him. Don jumped across the rooftops, his heart racing. _Please let Raph be ok,_ he begged silently. But when he caught sight of his destination, all of his hopes vanished. He heard Mike and Leo both gasp behind him.

There was Raph, surrounded by strange ninjas. In front of him stood a woman. Her back was turned to them, so Don couldn't see who she was or exactly what she looked like. When he got closer, he saw blood pooling around his red-clad brother, and his sais sticking out of his stomach. His eyes widened in horror as Raph stumbled backwards, his sais still lodged in his plastron, and hit his foot on the edge of the roof. What happened next would be a scene burned in his mind forever...

All three of them screamed their brother's name, though they knew it was helpless.

"RAPH!"

* * *

Eclipse released the sais, leaving them embedded in her opponent. Raph stumbled backwards and felt his foot hit something. At first he was confused, then his eyes widened even further as he realized he was on the edge of the roof.

"Goodbye, Raphael," Eclipse hissed, raising a hand.

Black light shot out of her open palm like a lightning bolt. It cannoned into Raph, pushing him over the edge of the roof and sending him tumbling into the gaping space between two structures. His scream was cut off when his shell hit the opposite building, knocking the breath out of him. He fell and his shell then slammed into the ground with a sickening crack. Though he was still conscious, he could only vaguely hear his name being called.

Eclipse glanced over her shoulder at the three approaching turtles, a victorious, malicious smile on her face. With a snap of her fingers, her ninjas vanished from sight. She disappeared herself in a cloud of black smoke just as Leo, Don, and Mike reached the rooftop.

"NO!" Mike cried, bounding past the spot the woman had been and practically jumping down the building.

Leo and Don exchanged a dismayed, horrified glance before quickly following him. The moment Mike's feet touched the ground, he was racing towards his fallen brother. He collapsed beside Raph, his breath hitching at the sight of him.

The first thing they noticed was the many cuts and bruises along with Raph's own sais embedded in his plastron. Don hit his knees beside Mike, who was frozen to the spot. He looked at Raph's shell, and saw the beginnings of the huge crack that was now there. Teary-eyed, he reached out for Raph with a shaky hand, gently laying his hand on his brother's arm. Raph flinched, and for the first time Don noticed the fast, shallow breaths he took as his chest rose up and down, a motion so faint it was almost impossible to see. Apparently, Mike detected it as well.

"Raphie?" He whispered.

Raph tried to reply, but all that came out was a muffled whimper. Mike choked back a sob and looked at Don with pleading eyes. The purple-masked turtle swept his gaze over his brother's broken body, trying to decide what to do. He didn't have to say anything when he motioned his head toward the nearest manhole and his brothers sped off back to the lair. A billion thoughts running through his head, he gently picked up his injured brother and sprinted as fast as he could out of the alley. He managed to get Raph down into to the sewers and swiftly replaced the lid before picking him up and starting off again. The faint footsteps of his other two brothers could faintly be heard in the distance, but he paid no heed as he bolted through the tunnels at a speed that defied all laws of science.

"Hold on, bro," he whispered, his voice shaky but determined. "We'll take care of you. Just hold on a little bit longer."

Raph gasped for breath, his senses fading in and out. He felt himself being carried and faintly heard his brother's voice. Fighting against unconsciousness, he willed himself to stay awake at least long enough to say goodbye. Then again, he hoped he wouldn't have to. Pain shot through him with every breath he took, but he refused to give in to the darkness that beckoned him. He gritted his teeth, managing to hold back a scream while a whimper once again escaped him.

Don glanced down at Raph when he heard him and sped up, if only a little. Finally, he burst into the lair, where Leo and Mike were waiting anxiously for him. He gently set Raph down on the couch, trying to clear his troubled thoughts.

'_Calm...'_

He heard Splinter's voice in his head, and he closed his eyes for a moment. Mike and Leo were shifting nervously behind him, sobs coming from his youngest brother every few seconds.

"Leo, get me some wet rags," Don ordered after a few more moments of silence, opening his eyes. Leo nodded and dashed off. "Mike, go get me bandages - a lot of them. Grab my kit while you're at it."

Mike hesitated before quickly heading off to get the supplies. Turning his attention back to his brother, Don took hold of the sais and carefully removed them, knowing they would have to come out sometime. He set them aside, trying to ignore the way the blood seemed to pour out of the gashes where the sais had struck. Leo came back moments later, holding a bundle of rags. Taking them quickly, Don pressed them against Raph's wounds, doing his best to stop the blood flow. Moments later, Mike appeared with the bandages and the kit. Don took those as well, cleaning and dressing Raph's cuts before looking back at Leo.

"Leo, I need you to sit him up so I can look at his shell," he instructed.

Leo nodded and swiftly but gently pulled Raph into a sitting position. Don paused then shook his head, taking controlling of his whirling mind. His eyes widened when he saw the full extent of the damage to Raph's shell.

There was a nasty-looking crack that almost split the shell in two. It started at Raph's right shoulder and went in a zigzag more than halfway through his shell. Blood was seeping out of it, fortunately not enough to do much harm. As for the shell, the two parts would have to be forced back together again. He tried to block out Mike's quiet sobs and snapped open the kit. He grabbed a bottle and put what looked like glue on the edges of the crack. Placing it on the table, he carefully pushed the two parts towards each other. He was expecting Raph to respond, but it seemed like he was doing his best to ignore however much pain he was feeling right now, his teeth clenched and tears threatening to spill over down his cheeks.

Finally, Don had done just about everything he could do. Leo slowly lowered Raph back down so he was lying on the couch, his breath fast and heaving as if he were gasping for air.

"Donnie..." Don looked up when Mike whimpered his name, once again meeting his brother's pleading, tearful gaze. He bowed his head solemnly.

"There's nothing more we can do," he murmured, slowly turning his head to look at Raph. "We just have to wait and hope..." He trailed off, taking a deep, shaky breath before letting it out again. "...and hope this is a battle he can win..."

That did it. Mike broke down, falling to his knees beside the couch. He latched onto his dying brother, hugging him as tightly as he could while trying not to hurt him further. Tears were streaming down his face and he had a hard time speaking through his sobs.

"I'm so sorry, Raph!" He wailed. "I'm so, so sorry! If I hadn't...if I hadn't gotten mad at you and made you leave none of this would have ever happened! I was so sad when I read that note...I really thought you were never gonna come home! I still can't believe I said all of that to you!" He buried his head into Raph's plastron, his voice lowering when he spoke his next words. "I can't believe I told you I hated you..."

Raph's eye snapped open at that, the memory of what his brothers had said to him that night slamming into him at full force...

_Leonardo: You almost killed your own brother!_

_Donatello: Stay away from me you monster!_

But his baby brother's words were the clearest, as loud as if he were saying them right now...

_Michelangelo: I hate you..._

"No..." Raph whispered, bringing his brothers' attention back to him. He slowly shook his head, ignoring the pain that shot through him with every movement, every word. "You...you had...had a right...to." He silenced Mike's protest with a sharp glare. Ignoring the burning sensation in his chest, he continued. "I really...really am a...a monster." Don winced, his own tears trickling down his cheeks. "You didn't...didn't deserve...to have a brother like...like me. And I...I forgive you...but...do you...forgive me?" His brothers looked at him, bewildered, but Leo finally spoke up.

"As unnecessary as it is, I do forgive you," the blue-clad turtle murmured, placing a hand on Raph's arm. "And I accept your apology."

"Me too," Don spoke up, gazing into his brother's eyes with admiration and sadness. Raph's gaze flicked to Mike, who still hadn't spoken.

"Raph..." The orange-clad turtle began, then nodded his head slowly. "I forgive you..."

Raph's frown slowly turned into a small, approving smile. Relief shone in his eye, and for a moment all of his fears were forgotten. But a sharp pain soon reminded him, and his smile vanished. He winced, still struggling to cling to life. He made a small noise in his throat that sounded like a whine, causing Mike to jump. The orange-clad ninja's eyes were wide with fear and grief, their innocent sparkle lost to his sadness. Don's eyes were pools of sorrow, still blaming himself for what had happened, especially with after what he'd said to his brother. Leo's gaze was solemn and strangely calm, as if he knew that, even if his brother did die, he would still be with family...Splinter.

"Guys?"

Leo and Don looked towards the door, while Mike only listened quietly, still clinging to Raph. April was standing in the doorway with Casey right behind her.

"I called April and Casey, Don," Leo explained. "I hope that's ok."

Don nodded, glancing at Raph before looking back at the two guests. He motioned towards the couch, and April was the first to dare to approach. The red-head hesitated, but took one more step forward...

"Oh my-!" She gasped, taking another step back.

Tears sprang to her eyes and she had to force herself to walk forward until she could kneel down beside Raph. Casey glanced at Don and Leo before following April's footsteps to the couch. A look of shock crossed his face when he saw his friend lying injured on the couch, but he didn't utter a sound. Instead, he crouched down beside April, an arm around her shoulder as he tried to comfort her. Mike didn't even look up when he felt the two humans beside him. He was still hugging his brother as if he were afraid to let him go. Truthfully, he really was.

Raph's breathing was slower now, almost to the point where he wasn't breathing at all, and it took all of his strength to keep his one eye open. The only real reason that he was trying his best to hold on was because he knew his family couldn't handle another death, especially so soon.

"Raph?" Casey broke the silence that had settled over the lair. "Geez, man, who did this to ya?"

Raph shared a meaningful look with Don, the only person he'd told his story to so far. The purple-clad turtle blinked, startled. Had that woman he'd seen been...Eclipse?

"She..." Don began, trailing off. "That's who...it was her, wasn't it?" Slowly, Raph nodded. The others looked from Raph to Don, confused, but before anyone could ask, Don continued. "It was Eclipse...that girl you said..." He trailed off again, anger flaring in his eyes. "...tortured you."

Mike's head snapped up to stare at Don, while Leo, Casey, and April all gaped at him. Raph shuddered, fear creeping back into his eyes. The movement hadn't gone unnoticed by anyone, and Raph felt everyone's gaze trained on him.

"How did she know where to find you?" Don asked. "I mean...she could have followed you, but this was the first time you'd seen her since you escaped, right?" Raph nodded again. "She's...she's the demon?" Once again, Raph nodded.

"She-" Raph began, but broke up and gasped as an excruciating pain surged through him.

Mike drew back as Raph jerked, his eyes squeezed shut and his teeth clenched. Don immediately dropped down beside the couch, alarmed.

"Raph! What's wrong?" Don frantically checked his brother's pulse, and his heart skipped a beat when he found one so faint he could barely even feel it, and felt it fading even more. "No! Don't you _dare_ give up, you hear me!?"

Mike was shivering beside him, scared of what might happen next. Leo gently pulled April and Casey away, giving Don a little more room. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Don squeezed Raph's hand gently.

"Come on, Raph, you can't let go now, you just can't!" He sobbed, trying desperately to get his brother to open his eyes and pull away from that cliff that would take him away forever if he fell from it. "Please, bro, just hang on. We'll-"

"No..." Raph muttered, his eye still closed. "No use. Only...only one...person...can help...but she...she's not coming."

That was another reason the red-clad turtle had tried his best to hold on as long as he could. If only his old friend would come, the one who helped him escape. She could have saved him, but now it looked like she might just be too late...

"Raph, please." This time it was April. Raph could tell she was crying her eyes out. Her voice was shaky and choked, as if she were trying her hardest not to cry. "Please don't leave us. Your brothers need you, _I_ need you."

"I'm sorry..."

Raph trailed off, trying to force his lungs to fill with air. It didn't work. He reached for Don, who was nearest, and gently took his brother's hand. Don squeezed Raph's hand, knowing he wouldn't be able to prevent death no matter what he did. Mike's body was racked with his uncontrollable yet somewhat quiet sobs. Though he knew what would happen next, he just couldn't bring himself to believe this was really happening. Raph mustered up all of his remaining strength to say three last words...

"...I love you..."

...Then he allowed the darkness to take him. Don let go of Raph's hand, letting it fall limply to the couch. Mike let out a wail, reaching out for his brother. Leo stopped him, shaking his head when Mike turned his desperate gaze to him.

"It's over, Mikey, I'm sorry," Leo whispered. Tears were startling to slide down his cheeks as well. "He's gone."

"NO!" Mike cried.

Leo pulled him into a hug, rocking him gently back and forth. Casey was doing the same thing with April, who was just as bad as Mike, while Don just looked at Raph, wishing it'd been his own life taken instead.

"Raphael..." Everyone looked up towards the source of the voice. A figure stepped out of the shadows, revealing itself.

She was a white mutant cat, that much was obvious. Her bright white eyes were wide with shock and grief. She wore a sleek, white, strapless shirt and silky, white capris. Her white boots had no heel and came up just above her ankle, while her four-fingered 'hands' were uncovered. She had a white necklace with a chain that easily slipped off of her head instead of having to be unclipped. Attached to it was what looked like a cat's eye with a crystal in the center where the pupil was supposed to be and just plain white on the rest of the pendant. She also had a short muzzle with a black nose, though she had no whiskers. Her cat-like ears were lying flat against her head and her eyes were glistening with tears as she watched her long-lost friend's family grieve around him.

"If only I had come sooner..." She trailed off and shook her head, meeting the gazes of each mutant and human in turn. "Please, I can help him. My name is Crystal."

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Author's Note:** -maniacal laughter- This has to be one of my favorite chapters of all!! It was fun to write, too!! -smirks- And don't worry, this is only the beginning. Raph's not done yet!! Heh...I have a dramatic way of introducing my characters, don't I?? XD Just don't steal Eclipse or Crystal, cause if ya do I'll hunt ya down!! -looks around warily- Well, see ya later!! X3 


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** I MADE PEOPLE CRY!! I ACTUALLY MADE PEOPLE _**CRY**_!! -squeals happily and runs around in circles- Oh my gosh, I made people CRY!! That is so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the great reviews, guys, they really made my day!! Hugs for everyone!! -hugs computer- Ahem...anyways, I hope ya like this chapter as much as that last one!! Heh...being evil has it rewards!! -laughs maniacally-

**Julia-Catherine:** X3 Thanks!!

**mangalover248:** XD So am I. -giggles- Thank you!!

**Eridani23:** Thanks!! Oh, I would never kill any of 'em. Too sad!! -sniffs- XP Though I have considered doing a death fic...maybe...

**Alora05:** Yes!! It's always so cool when I make people cry, cause that means I wrote a good chapter!! -hugs- Thanks!! Yeps, Crystal is very good. Yay for white!! XD Oooooh, cookie!! -munches on cookie- Yum!! Thank you!! lol

**BigfootSighted:** Thank you, thank you!! -bows- X3 Yeah, I've been wanting to introduce Crystal for a long time. Don't worry, I'd never kill one of my favorite characters. -hinthint- XD

**xLannyx:** lol Ok, ok!! Ooh, I love sweets!! XD And I made another person cry!! W00T!! -cheers-

**S.E.Ragland:** And ANOTHER person cried!! Man, I'm on a roll!! X3 Good, I'm glad ya wouldn't. lol Oh, you'll see VERY soon. -grins- It'll keep getting more and more intense every chapter!!

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"How can we trust you?"

Crystal's bright white gaze flicked to Leo, who had stepped forward as if he were trying to protect the others. Her long tail flicked back and forth and she stepped forward a couple of paces until she was barely a foot away from the blue-masked turtle.

"You must be Leonardo," she murmured, looking him up and down. "Raphael told me much about you and your family. I do not know how to persuade you to believe me. All I can say is that your brother trusted me with all of his heart." She turned a soft gaze to Raph before looking back at Leo. "I was the one who helped him escape from Eclipse...before we were separated. I knew she would follow him so I tried to find him before she did. But unfortunately it didn't work out like that." Leo narrowed his eyes, still suspicious.

"How do we know your not working for Eclipse?" He questioned.

"What?" Crystal exclaimed, annoyance sparking in her eyes. She shook her head and calmed herself down. "What could Eclipse possibly gain from sending me down here? She only cares about killing those who get in her way." She sighed, her luminous gaze wide and honest. "Please, I can give him a second chance."

"Leo," Don cut in, coming up beside his brother. "We have to trust her."

Mike was watching Crystal with wide, hopeful eyes, tears still falling freely. April and Casey watched on silently. Nodding, Leo finally relaxed a bit.

"Ok," he agreed. "Just...please...give us our brother back."

Crystal smiled warmly, giving a brisk nod. Don got Mike to his feet and pulled him back a little. Kneeling beside the couch, she looked up at the three brothers huddled together.

"I have to warn you, I've never done this before," she told them. "I do not know if it will work." Still a little confused as to how anyone could bring back the dead, it was Don who responded.

"Do whatever you can," he whispered, rocking Mike gently back and forth.

Crystal nodded, determination shining in her gaze. She turned back to her fallen friend, trying hard to focus on what she was doing. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hands over Raph's heart. A bright white light shone, forcing everyone to shield their eyes. The light died down after a few moments. Crystal hadn't moved from her spot. She looked down hopefully at the motionless figure below her. For a few heartbeats, nothing happened, and her face fell. But before she could say a word, Raph's one eye snapped open and he gasped. Crystal jumped, startled, but her face broke into a smile nonetheless. She hugged him gently while Don and Leo held an ecstatic Mike back, trying to keep him from leaping on the still-wounded turtle.

"Wha-...Crystal?" Raph muttered drowsily.

"I thought I'd come too late," she whispered just loud enough for Raph to hear.

Meanwhile, Mike was finally let go and he tripped over his own feet in his attempt to race over to the couch. He didn't jump on the red-clad turtle and instead resorted to bouncing up and down joyfully beside him.

"You're alive!" He cried.

"You're making me dizzy, Mikey," Don chuckled while Leo just rolled his eyes. Don walked over to Raph, gripping his hand as his brother had done to him before he died. "I'm glad you're ok."

April was beaming at Crystal, her eyes shining gratefully at the mutant cat. Casey smiled, putting a hand on Leo's shoulder, and the two exchanged a brief glance. Don turned to Crystal and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you so much!" He exclaimed, then suddenly stepped back, embarrassed. "Uh, sorry..." Crystal smiled and hugged him as well.

"It was my pleasure," she laughed, an amused smile on her face as she turned back to Raph. He looked utterly confused, trying to ignore Mike's rambling. Crystal giggled and stopped Mike by putting a hand on his shoulder. "He needs rest, so I expect _all_ of you to leave him alone for a while." She gave a meaningful look at the overexcited turtle, though her eyes still sparkled with laughter.

"We are forever in your debt," Leo said, nodding gratefully at Crystal.

"You owe me nothing," Crystal assured him, nodding politely in return.

"What the shell just happened?" Everyone's attention turned to Raph, who was currently trying his hardest to sit up.

"Oh no you don't," Crystal rebuked him, placing a hand on his plastron to keep him down. "You need to rest, Raphael."

"But-" Raph tried to protest, still trying to get up, but was cut off when Crystal pushed him back down, as gently but as forcefully as she could.

"Lie down," she ordered sternly. Raph groaned and gave up, sending a half-hearted glare towards Crystal, who just grinned cheekily at him. "That's better."

"Oh, shut up," Raph growled before Crystal could respond. He ignored the laughs and looked back at her. "When'd you get here?"

"Right after-" Crystal began, but stopped abruptly. She sighed. "I saw what happened, but I was too far away to stop it. I had a bit of trouble finding your home as well. I'm so sorry. I knew I should've gone looking for you the moment we were separated."

"That was _not_ your fault," Raph snapped, more firmly than harshly. "What matters is that you're here now. None of that was your fault, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Crystal replied, rolling her eyes in exasperation. Everyone laughed except for Raph, who just sent his best death glare towards Crystal.

"Smart a-" He began, but was cut off by a sharp pain.

Gasping, he clutched his stomach, making everyone in the room jump. He faintly remembered being stabbed in the stomach with his sais, and guessed it would take a while for the wound to heal.

"Are you ok?" Mike prompted, his eyes alight with worry.

"F-fine," Raph growled through clenched teeth, waiting for the pain to die down. He shook his head to clear his hazy mind. "I'm fine."

"I beg to differ," April finally spoke up, but didn't argue.

"Now who did this again?" Casey growled, his eyes narrowed angrily.

The memory came back suddenly, and Raph's eyes grew wide as saucers. _An ambush, _he recalled, starting to shake despite his efforts to control it. _Eclipse...she can find me now...and she'll know if I've made it or not! If she finds out..._

"Raph?" Mike's alarmed voice cut into his thoughts and jerked him back to reality.

"Calm down," Crystal soothed, slipping her hand into his from where she still knelt beside the couch. "She's not here. You're safe with us."

"Who's not here?" Don asked, though he already knew the answer.

"Eclipse," Crystal replied, looking sadly at Raph's fearful, one-eyed gaze. She shook her head. "I can understand how he feels, but I'd hoped he would've been able to control his emotions by now."

"What do you mean?" Leo inquired.

"Can you not see your own brother's fear?" Everyone fell silent, the only sound being Raph's heaving breaths as he tried to gain control of his racing thoughts and whirling emotions. Crystal bowed her head, her grip on Raph's hand tightening just a little. "He has never spoken to me of what happened whenever Eclipse took him, but he would return always looking twice as bad as he had beforehand." Her eyes flashed angrily, but she kept her voice steady. "We were held in the same cell, so I often comforted him and helped him with his injuries. But I was never able to help him control his emotions, not when he wouldn't tell me of what happened or why he was becoming more and more fearful. Though he did share much of his past with me, he wasn't as willing to share his experiences with Eclipse's torturing. It seemed she hated him more than she hated me. Of course, she only captured him when he got in her way. I was just one of her 'victims.' She had nothing against me, but she still tortured me from time to time." She hissed in disgust, revealing two rows of razor-sharp, glistening white teeth. "She took pleasure in torture. All she wanted was to destroy." Crystal looked into Raph's blind eye. She could see more emotion in that one eye that anyone could see in both. Her anger sparked every time she saw fear and pain there, but she took a few moments to calm herself down, her eyes still on the injured turtle on the couch. "She was the one that took Raphael's sight."

The others gaped at her, excluding Don, who merely listened quietly. Raph had relaxed a bit by now, his gaze trained on the far wall. A heavy silence settled over the lair and the blind ninja shifted uncomfortably. Crystal was deep in thought, watching him closely. He knew everyone was staring at him, and it made him more than a little nervous.

"You_ know_ why I don't want to tell you," he choked out, breaking the stillness. He didn't bother to try and keep his voice from trembling. "I know I can't keep it from you forever, but...right now I...I just _can't_."

"I know," Crystal shushed him. "I'm not going to ask you to talk about it, but your brothers and friends should at least know part of the story." She glanced back at the group then at Raph again. "You need to get some rest anyways. I'll talk to them, so you just get to bed."

She slowly pulled him to his feet, ready to catch him if he faltered. The red-masked ninja winced slightly, but managed to stand with Crystal's help. She let him lean on her as they made their way through the lair. Since she wasn't familiar with his home, she let him lead the way for the most part. It took a few minutes until they finally reached his room.

"Easy now," Crystal soothed as she helped him back onto the bed. She pulled the covers over him and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Think you'll be ok?"

Raph just nodded, feeling a little nervous though he wasn't sure why. He finally looked up, his sightless gaze fixed on his friend.

"Thanks," he whispered, smiling faintly. "You've done more than I could have ever asked for."

"Don't mention it," Crystal insisted, returning the smile. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Raph stiffened, feeling his face heat up. "Rest well."

He just nodded, suddenly at a loss for words. Crystal giggled, amused, and let her tail brush his shoulder as she turned and went back out of the room, closing the door softly behind her. Raph smiled as he settled down. It was only a few moments before he had fallen into a deep, comfortable sleep, his heart filled with a warm sensation he couldn't even begin to explain.

**

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Author's Note:** This is another short, one, but I like it, 'specially the ending. -giggles- They're just so cute together!! X3 Well, I hope ya liked it too and I'll try to update soon!! 


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Yes!! The big secret is finally revealed!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!...-coughs- Um...yeah...thanks for the reviews, and I hope this chapter is satisfying. X3 At least it's not another really short one!!

**BigfootSighted:** If it's a Raph/Crystal pairing you're looking for, you'll definitely get it!! XD Heh, guess that's not much of a spoiler, since I've already given some pretty big hints that Raph has a crush on Crystal, and some the other way around, too. lol

**S.E.Ragland:** lol Thanks!! Crystal has a lotta different powers, as you'll see in later chapters.

**mangalover248:** Thank you!!

**Lady-Of-The-Rings:** Thanks, and don't worry, I'll try to update as much as possible!!

**xLannyx:** lol Yeps!! Thankies!! Wow, I didn't think Crystal would have so many fans. X3 Yeah, those two are so cute together, aren't they??

**Alora05:** XD Well, I'm glad ya like my fic!! Heh, blind doesn't really fit Raph much anymore...-hinthint- But you'll find that out in this chapter, anyways. Ooh, cake!! X3 Thanks for the review!!

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Silence greeted Raphael when he awoke. He felt warm and comfortable, but as soon as he moved pain shot through him. His eyes snapped open and he gasped, but managed not to cry out. He laid there for a few moments, his hands tightly gripping the sheets draped over him. After a while, the pain subsided and turned to a dull ache. He blinked, clearing his blurry vision, and looked around.

He was back in his room. It was dark, but he could still tell. Everything was as he remembered it, though a bit neater. His gaze traveled to the other side of his room, and he saw his hammock lying on the floor. He recalled how he often slept in it before. It had been a long time since he had laid in his hammock.

In fact, it had been a long time since he'd seen his room.

Raph's eyes widened and he shot up in bed, scrambling to get into a sitting position despite his body's protests. He stared around at his room, shocked speechless. _I can...see!?_ His hand moved up to touch the eye that he normally had an eye patch over. The patch was gone._ I can see!_ A smile spread across his face. It didn't matter that there was still darkness in his blinded eye. Now he had his sight back. He traced the scar with his finger. It didn't hurt to open his left eye any more. He knew exactly what had happened...

"DONNIE!" He shouted as loud as he could.

Moments later, the door was thrown open. Don rushed up to the bed, followed closely by Leo, Mike, and Crystal.

"What-!?" Don was cut off when Raph suddenly hugged him, his tight grip nearly choking the purple-clad turtle.

"Don! I can see again!" Raph exclaimed joyfully. His eyes held a gleam that hadn't been there in so many years.

"Ow! Raph! I c-can't breath!" Don choked out when his surprise finally faded.

Raph grinned broadly and loosened his grip a bit, though he didn't fully let go of his brother. Don gasped for air, finally able to breathe properly.

"Wait, you mean it worked?" Leo questioned, smiling with amusement. "I didn't think it would!"

Raph blinked. "What worked?"

"I did some surgery on your eye when you were unconscious," Don explained. "We had to wait until you were awake to see if it worked and, apparently, it did."

"This is so totally awesome!" Mike cheered.

Raph pulled back so he could look at his brothers. They looked a lot like they had before, only a bit older. He also saw some new scars on each of them. His eyes flicked to Crystal. She looked exactly as he remembered. He couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his face as he gazed at her. Mike followed his gaze. He raised an eye ridge and looked back at the red-masked ninja, smirking.

"Ooooh, I think Raphie's got a crush!" He teased.

Raph blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment, sending his youngest sibling a furious glare. Leo and Don snickered while Crystal just smiled.

"Shut up," Raph muttered, looking down at the ground.

"Aww, how cute!" Mike chuckled. "Raph and Crystal sittin' in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-OW!"

Mike gingerly rubbed his head where his brother had hit him. Raph crossed his arms indignantly, scowling.

"Put a cork in it before I do it for you!" He snapped.

Mike merely grinned at him, which didn't do anything to ease his nerves. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that his baby brother would be taunting him about this at every chance he got. Crystal giggled and came over to sit down beside Raph on the bed.

"Well, I'm just glad you're ok." She hugged him then looked back up at the other three turtles. "Now we need to make sure we're prepared. We've got to build up our strength and train as much as possible..."

The others kept talking, but Raph didn't hear what they said. His attention was focused elsewhere and his gaze was fixed on a dark corner of the room. The cheerful expression he had worn was long gone, replaced by a cold dread.

There was a pair of blood-red eyes staring back at him from the shadows.

His breaths quickened as he watched it. Fanged lips curved into an evil smile and the demon moved a few inches toward him. His eyes widened and his whole body started shaking. The smile suddenly turned into a furious scowl and the red eyes narrowed. The voices in his head were screaming at him, cursing him for being alive. He knew the demon wanted him dead, and this latest failure enraged her. A hiss echoed in the room, alerting the others. Raph only stared as the shadow moved even closer, his heart pounding. Crystal looked at him, alarmed. She knew that look and she knew what was going on.

"Raph? Raphael?" When she received no response, she reached out and gently touched his shoulder. Raph jumped, his petrified gaze turning to the mutant cat. Her voice was scarcely more than a whisper. "Where is she?"

At her words, Leo took out his katanas, scanning the room warily. Don and Mike followed suit, holding their weapons out in a defensive position as they moved in front of Raph.

"Raphael, where is she?" Crystal repeated, unsheathing her claws.

Before Raph could reply, a snarl came from the demon. He looked fearfully at her as she slipped through the shadows, easily swerving around his brothers. Suddenly, the demon-girl morphed into her human form. The three turtles jumped back, startled, and whipped around to face her. She was standing between them and the bed. Before anyone could move, she grabbed Crystal and threw her at Mike, knocking them both back. Black spheres of light formed around her hands. She threw one of them at Leo and Don and the other at Mike and Crystal. All four of them were hit and shackles made of the black light formed around their wrists and ankles. They were thrown against the wall, the restraints pinning them down and holding them as they struggled. Even Crystal was trapped, for the evil magic was somehow shutting out her powers. With the others out of the way, Eclipse turned to Raph.

"I don't know how you survived, Raphael," she began, "but I assure you that you'll not be so lucky this time."

She bared her fangs in an angry snarl as she approached. Raph yelped and scrambled backward on his bed until his shell hit the wall behind him. He looked frantically from side to side, his eyes searching for an escape route. He found none.

"Leave him alone!" Crystal spat, jerking against her shackles

"Don't you lay your filthy hand on him, demon!" Leo snarled.

Eclipse sighed and rolled her eyes, lifting one hand to point it at the restrained mutants. Gags appeared around their mouths and the shackles became tighter. The demon-girl moved forward abruptly until her face was inches away from Raph's. He flinched away and cringed, pressing back against the wall. Eclipse smirked and her hand shot out, grabbing him by the throat. She whipped around, slamming him down onto the floor. Raph skidded a little ways across the ground, dazed by the sudden force. He pushed himself to his hands and knees, looking fearfully up at the demon.

"Pathetic!" Eclipse spat, kicking the fallen turtle. Raph gasped and collapsed, clutching at his stomach where she had hit. "I'll show you real pain!"

The dark spheres formed around her hands again and an orb of black light appeared above Raph. His heart jolted when he realized what it was, but he hardly had time to move. Images flashed through the center of the orb - images from his memory. He screamed and curled up on the floor, both of his hands on either side of his head.

"No! STOP!" He begged, but Eclipse only laughed cruelly.

The first image was of that fateful night, the night all of this started...

* * *

"Will you cut that out!?" Raph snapped, annoyed at Mike's persistent poking.

"But I want someone to go topside with me!" Mike whined. "And Leo and Don are busy!"

"So?" Raph growled. "Why can't you go on your own?"

"That's no fun!"

"Deal with it!"

Mike pouted and plopped down next to his brother on the couch. Raph rolled his eyes and continued watching the TV. After a while, Mike lost interest and went back to annoying his older brother.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Plea-"

"NO!"

"Will you two keep it down!?" Don yelled from his lab. "I'm trying to concentrate!"

Raph glared at Mike who finally fell silent. There was a moment of peace, but it didn't last long.

"Hey Raph," Mike piped up.

"What!?" Raph groaned, getting more irritated by the second.

"Why do you watch this stuff?" Mike asked, ignoring his brother's angry tone and watching the war going on in the movie.

"There was nothing else on," Raph grumbled.

"Can I change it?"

"Depends." Raph looked over at Mike. "What are you gonna change it to?"

"I don't know." Mike shrugged. "Anything but this boring stuff." Raph sighed and gave in.

"Fine, as long as you keep quiet!"

Mike cheered and grabbed the remote. He flipped through the channels and stopped on MTV. Raph immediately grabbed the remote.

"Hey!" Mike yipped, reaching for the remote.

"I am _not_ going to put up with your singing, especially not your kinda songs!" Raph barked angrily, turning the TV off.

"Party pooper!" Mike pouted.

"Whatever," Raph growled.

"You wanna spar?" Mike asked after a few moments of silence.

"If it means kickin' your butt, gladly," Raph snapped.

Mike sighed and stared at the blank TV screen. He got an idea and smiled mischievously. Getting up, he went to his room to grab something. Raph sighed in relief, grateful for the quiet. Suddenly, a big, hairy spider appeared in front of his face. Giving a startled shout, Raph fell off the couch and ended up looking at a laughing Mike.

"You should have seen your face!" Mike teased, the very realistic toy spider still dangling in his hands.

"MIKEY!"

Raph lunged at his brother, who yelped at the older turtle cannoned into him. He threw Mike to the floor, ignoring the pained cry that came from the orange-masked ninja. The commotion alerted his other two brothers. One of his sais in his hand, Raph pinned his brother down and prepared to bring his blade down on the wide-eyed turtle.

"Raphael!"

Raph felt someone restraining him and whipped around, but his sai was blocked by a katana as he came face-to-face with Leo. Don rushed over to Mike and checked for any injuries. Blinking, Raph dropped his sai, finally realizing what had just happened. Leo pushed him aside and knelt down by his two youngest brothers.

"L-Leo, I-" Raph stammered, but stopped as his blue-masked brother whipped around to face him.

"Raph, what were you thinking?" Leo yelled.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't-" Raph began.

"You've never cared about anyone but yourself!" Leo continued. "You almost killed your own brother!"

Leo turned away and helped Mike to his feet. Don looked Raph's way.

"Don-"

"Stay away from me you monster!" Don snarled, glaring angrily at the red-clad turtle.

Raph flinched. Even _Don_ was mad at him. He turned his frightened, pleading gaze to his last brother.

"Mikey?" He murmured, hoping at least his soft-hearted, baby brother would forgive him. But it turned out just the opposite...

"I hate you."

That was enough for him. His eyes glistening, Raph backed up before he turned and ran to his room, locking the door behind him. He slid down to the floor and put his head in his hands, silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"What kind of monster am I?" He whispered. "I would have killed Mikey if Leo hadn't stopped me..."

After a few moments, he got to his feet and pulled a piece of paper from his notebook. He spent a few minutes writing, then folded up the paper and wrote on the front: _My Last Note_. Putting the note on his bed, he quietly unlocked the door and looked around. _Good, no one's around,_ he thought. _I don't know what I'd do if I had to face them right now..._

Making sure the door was locked, he closed it and slipped through the lair and to the front door on silent feet. He looked back at his home with tear-filled eyes then went out, closing the door behind him...for the last time.

* * *

Raph was crouched down on his favorite rooftop, staring out at the trees in the distance. Tears rolled down his cheeks before shattered on the concrete beneath him. _I've failed them all,_ he thought miserably. _My brothers...my sensei...they don't deserve to be hurt by a hot-head like me. I swear I'll never hurt them again..._ His gaze slowly moved to the manhole he'd come out of. _...Even if it means leaving forever..._

He straightened up, casting one last, loving look at the sewer entrance, before he turned away and leapt across the moonlit rooftops, disappearing over the horizon.

* * *

Raph let out a choked sob as the image faded, only to be replaced by another. Eclipse watched coldly, while the four pinned to the wall stared in horror at the scene. This time it showed him when he was younger. His sensei was scolding him as usual, but the mere thought of Splinter brought tears to his eyes. He never had the chance to tell the old rat that he was sorry and how much all of his family meant to him. If he hadn't run away, maybe he could have said all of that. Maybe he could've told his father how much he loved him...

His thoughts were interrupted when the scene changed. Now it was him and Crystal. They were holding each other tightly while they sat in that wretched cell Eclipse had put them in. Though there was no sound from it to make out any words, the message became clear when Crystal leaned in to kiss Raph. Just before it happened, though, the image morphed once again.

There was a forest with snow covering the ground. A faint image could be seen. It looked like a wolf, and its fur was mostly black. Its pelt also had symbols on it, but it was too blurry to see them clearly. There were two smaller figures bounding up to the wolf and another, white-furred wolf emerged...

"NO!"

It happened so fast that no one saw much more than a blur. One moment Raph was on the ground, the next he was on top of Eclipse, pinning her down. His eyes were merely slits, and he was trembling with rage. Tears still ran down his face, though, soaking his red bandanna.

"Don't you..._ever_...do that again," he choked out, his voice holding both anger and fear.

"Get off of me!" Eclipse snapped, struggling. But he only held her down even more firmly.

"Leave." Raph's voice was dangerously low. "Get out and don't come back." She scowled at him. Not really understanding what he was doing, he grabbed a hold of the orb on her necklace, which was full of black light. His grip was tight, threatening to break the glass sphere into pieces. "_Now_."

She glanced down at the orb in his hands, a spark of fear in her eyes. Her crimson gaze flicked back up to him, her eyes blazing.

"Fine!" She hissed, then disappeared.

The shackles and gags on the three turtles and cat vanished and they dropped down to their feet. Raph didn't even glance up at them. Another sob escaped him and he curled up again on the ground, closing his eyes tightly as if it would help to push the horrible memories away. Crystal was at his side in an instant, her fur still standing on end. She sheathed her claws and crouched down beside Raph, pulling him into a tight hug. Don shook his head, trying to get rid of the questions buzzing around in his mind, and quickly joined them. Leo and Mike snapped out of their trance as well and rushed over.

"What was _that_!?" Mike asked, wide-eyed.

"I don't know," Crystal replied softly, pulling back a bit though she still had one arm around Raph. He still seemed to be trapped within his own memories.

"So that's her..." Don murmured, not really talking to anyone. "That's who Raph's been afraid of all this time."

"Yes." Crystal nodded. "That's her alright..."

"What if she comes back?" Mike whispered, pressing close against Raph's side.

"Then we need to be ready," Leo growled before Crystal could answer. His eyes were narrowed angrily. "We'll have to train hard and build up our strength before she makes her next move."

"Training?" Mike groaned, pouting. "Don't we already train enough?"

"This isn't the time for fooling around, Mikey," Don chided. "This is serious."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Mike muttered, rolling his eyes.

"And how do you expect to defeat her?" Crystal cut in. "Even I don't know how to do that."

All eyes turned to Raph, who was now silent. He dragged his gaze up to look at them and shook his head, his eyes still glistening with tears.

"See?" Crystal's gaze flicked back to Leo. "Yes, we need to prepare, but what about a plan? What's the point if we don't even know how to defend ourselves against our enemy?"

"We have to at least try!" Leo protested, but he knew the mutant cat had a point.

"I can do some research on demons," Don suggested. "It might tell us something. Maybe even some kind of weakness."

"Eclipse is no ordinary demon." The voice was so quiet not one of them would have guessed it was Raph's. He was staring blankly at the far wall. "She shows off her strengths, of course, but only some can see through her and find her weaknesses..."

"Raph...is there something you're not telling us?" Leo ventured, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Raph shook his head, his gaze dropping to the ground. No one seemed to notice the nervous - and somewhat guilty - look that flashed in his eyes.

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note:** Cliffhangers...don't ya just love 'em?? XD Well, there we go!! Once again Eclipse comes into the picture. Heh, persistent, isn't she?? XP And now we finally get to see the whole truth of what happened 'that night'. I've wanted to reveal that secret for the longest time!! I actually wrote it before I even started the book. This plot was originally for one of my RP sites. Didn't know that, did ya?? Well, ya really do learn something new every day!! I hope ya liked it, and I'll try to update soon!!


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